Lune Valley Hash House Harriers

Thursday 24th May 2018
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More Away R*ns

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«Away R*ns»

Nash Hash 2007

The Luneys on tour to NashHash 2007, held at Towcester Racecourse on 24th to 27th August. LVH3 hounds: Cyberseptic, Antiseptic, Upperskirt, Baldbrick and MasterBaker. Scribes: Antiseptic and MasterBaker.

Friday
Antiseptic and Cyberseptic were the first to arrive and set up their second home - a tent masquerading as a luxury apartment in size. They set off into Towcester for a bite to eat and met Baldbrick, Upperskirt and MasterBaker as they approached the racecourse. Directions were passed on so the new arrivals could find the chalet and set camp next door.

As Baldbrick and MasterBaker toiled away in the midday heat, Upperskirt was predictably laid on a picnic rug within minutes of getting out of the car. The bikini was on within seconds and the ray absorbing began. Her lack of activity didn't by any means stop her from interacting with the workers with comments such as "you're doing a good job" and "I'd only get in the way".

In the meantime, Anti and Cyber were browsing the charity shops and picked up a bargain for Cyber, a pair of good jeans for £4.95 - he was robbed.

On talking to members of Scarborough Happy Hash House Harriers (SH4), quote Boghopper "Possibly the newest hash in the universe", the reason for the theme of James Bond was ascertained. This year is 2007 - none of those present had realised this previously. It was assumed the Big Brother of NashHash had a thing for Bond movies - or something like that.

Once all the tents were erected (ooh missus), the five LVH3 delegates took it easy for the remainder of the time, with activities such as reading, sunbathing and sleeping. At one point, Anti and Cyber went and socialised with other hashers who they hadn't seen for a long time. All of whom passed on good wishes to LVH3 hashers who know them!

The Goldfinger r*n at 7pm was soon upon us and so we set off following a trail of gold blobs. The theme for this ten-minute trail to the nearest public house was one of a gold theme. Some had gone as far as painting their bodies gold while others were even more outlandish and dipped their forefinger into a pot of gold paint which was being passed around before the circle. The first two pubs were marked as hash unfriendly, not welcoming to hundreds of grown people in fancy dress and some with few stitches on - not too surprising really. After visiting a couple of pubs with understaffed bars for the huge influx of r*nners, people came to the decision to return to the racecourse where drinks were readily served and "all inclusive".

The entertainment for the evening was a good entertaining rock/pop band - which was nice.

We were tucked up by midnight - that was the first day.

Saturday
Once everyone was up and sorted out, Antiseptic confessed to having four wees in the night - what's all that about?

On the mornings of Saturday, Sunday and Monday, cereal, cooked breakfast and toast were provided. We selected our packed lunches after breakfast.

The run buses were laid on and on site by 10:30am. We placed our goodie bags or lunches on our seats and left Baldbrick keeping the seats while the others gathered another half an hour of sunshine.

Today's r*n (named "A View to a Spew with Spa hash") was hot and long and relatively uninteresting as the flat, monotonous arable fields had been recently harvested. Despite this, there were two welcome water stops and a wonderful beer stop where a few hashers went in the knee-deep muddy puddle masquerading as a pond. The highlight came at the end when we went uphill for an excellent view (I think the clue was in the r*n title) by a windmill. MasterBaker and Upperskirt were apprehended as miscreants on the r*n but gave false names of Antiseptic and Cyberseptic. They were found out before the circle yet weren't given DDs as the RA forgot - phew.

We sat down and ate our lunches, had a mega-circle of around 100 runners - which was wonderful. We all watched in amazement as an elderly gentleman pushed an elderly lady with a poodle on her knee in a wheelchair over the rough grass path to the windmill and back. The poodle's name was cherry.

The LVH3 crew went for dinner at 1900 hours in smart clothing, suits and dresses - a continuation of the Bond theme. Other attire included white bikinis and Ursula Andress impressions - and that was just the men. Antiseptic and Upperskirt commented one in particular had a very nice arse.

Tonight's band was SoulFever - to which many danced until the early hours. Proceedings were interrupted at midnight for the naked r*n. Around 20 swallowed their pride and revealed all. I couldn't understand why as all to be seen were beer guts and small c**ks. Takes all sorts.

Sunday
Sunday's r*n was a shiggy r*n organised by Oxford hash. We were warned about what was ahead and to swap r*ns if it wasn't for us. If you avoided the mud, the mud was thrown to you. In all my life I've never seen so much c**p over so many people. Shiggy will never have the same meaning! Cyberseptic cleaned himself off by swimming in a pond with other mad people. All in the name of fun. It was followed by a roast meal laid on by Oxford hash as they always do food after their runs. Urine took the circle and many a happy hasher got a down down.

A birthday party was held by SH4 for their RA, Vinyl Arsehole.

After dinner there was the "down down" competition followed by the cabarets, which were sights to behold. The bellydancing wasn't as entertaining as the guy who played a harmonica using his bum - what a talent. The musical performance which followed was a folk band to which Antiseptic and Cyberseptic did a reel and a jig or summink.

Monday
An early rise of 0730hrs and de-camping took part. Cybernetics' huge erection soon came crashing down. Master Baker's and Baldbricks' smaller one was slower to return to its original shape.

We chilled until the hangover r*n at 1100hrs which turned out to be a r*n around the racecourse grounds and inside the course itself. These places are far larger than they appear on the television - crazy.

The "circle/gathering on the stand" took place with entertaining pieces of lost property being handed out and DDs to the organisers of NashHash 2007. We left the course at 12:30pm

It was a good weekend, the venue was amazing, the food good and plenty of fun was had by all.

OnOn to Scotland in two years time.

Master Baker

Write up by Master Baker

Saturday 1st September 2007 at 9:48pm