Lune Valley Hash House Harriers

Thursday 24th May 2018
Username Password

More Away R*ns

Kiddie's tour of Europe prelube and Brussels 2014 Interhash
Submitted on Sunday 10th August 2014
by Cyberseptic

Nash Hash 2013 at Hook Court School near Beaminster, Dorset
Submitted on Saturday 31st August 2013
by Cyberseptic

LVH3 at CH3's 200th r*n
Submitted on Tuesday 3rd January 2012
by Cyberseptic

No More Cum Visits Mum in KL
Submitted on Monday 4th May 2009
by No More Cum

Solstice Hash On Tour 2008
Submitted on Thursday 1st January 2009
by No More Cum

Nash Hash 2007
Submitted on Saturday 1st September 2007
by Master Baker

Cockermouth H3 R*n #145
Submitted on Monday 13th August 2007
by Master Baker

The Septics at InterHash 2006
Submitted on Friday 17th November 2006
by Cyberseptic

No More Cum at InterHash 2006
Submitted on Wednesday 8th November 2006
by No More Cum

Finally United, Checked, Knackered In Tyneside
Submitted on Wednesday 26th October 2005
by Antiseptic

Scarborough Steamy Weekend
Submitted on Wednesday 26th October 2005
by Antiseptic

Settle & District (The SAD Hash) R*n #7
Submitted on Wednesday 12th October 2005
by Minor Twat

Newcastle '600'
Submitted on Sunday 18th September 2005
by Upperskirt

Nash Hash 2005
Submitted on Monday 5th September 2005
by Forever Blowing

Eurohash 2005
Submitted on Friday 19th August 2005
by No More Cum

Interhash 2004
Submitted on Tuesday 16th August 2005
by Forever Blowing

Nash Hash 2003
Submitted on Wednesday 27th August 2003
by Forever Blowing

«Away R*ns»

Eurohash 2005

LVH3 Hound: No More Cum

Held on 12th to 14th August 2005 in Heemskerk, The Netherlands

This write up covers a time-span from Monday 8/8/05 to Monday 15/8/05 and covers the whole hashing experience through my distorted eyes. It includes as much as you really want to know and purposely omits the events of Thursday 11/8/05, which relate to a Pattaya hash, which is not even discussed in Pattaya. The fact that I spent all my time with the troops from this unit will lead you to draw your own conclusion.

Monday was a recce-ing day for me with little or no beer, but plenty of work. I checked into our hotel in the Red Light District that morning. By 1700 we were already putting the vinyl banners up outside declaring that this was our HQ. By 1800, we were 4 strong and decided we needed a beer. I slept well that night.

Tuesday came after Monday and I was joined by my co-hare for much muttering about how many crates of beer, how much ice, etc. Our numbers were growing and as one of us had a birthday that night, we decided to go out and celebrate. We had worked hard again that day and slept well that night.

Wednesday was always going to be busy. Apart from laying the trail for our run, there were preparations made for a run that night and our transport to the venue that Friday. The Scandihooligan H3 made rather than laid a run through the RLD that night. There were 16 of us by now and 2 harriettes, one from Denmark and one from Toronto. It was a bar crawl of the highest excellence. I slept well again that night and didn't want to get up in the morning.

Thursday was the day of our run. Once it was all over, we gate-crashed what was left of the Red Dress Run party and made sure everyone knew we were there. I somehow got home and crashed out face down on the bed with my cap on my head and camelbak still on my back.

Eurohash

The big surprise Friday was that I woke up at all! Today we were moving out of town to Heemskerk, the site of Eurohash, where most of us had lodgings in the dormitories of a 13th century castle, reportedly complete with ghost. It poured down for the first time that week and we were glad we had booked a luxury 52 seater for the 13 of us who had stayed on to do the normal event. We turned up ahead of most people and took a position on the grass outside of the castle complete with copious amounts of beer. The main event hadn't started flowing yet and the crates we brought along attracted many as they arrived. Our banner in front of the drawbridge hailed our arrival. We had kicked off the party ahead of schedule with the beer we had been told not to bring - not damaged reputations then!

Eurohash

Eurohash

The rest of the night was scheduled to involve a walk around the village. As I didn't go, I cannot comment. However reports stated that the supply out there was short and our decision to stay at the castle had been justified. I don't remember registering, but must have as I found the goody bag in my rucksack when I got back to Morecambe. That will all go in the raffle in Pattaya anyway. I eventually found my dormitory that night and slept well again. Top bunks don't half squeak a lot!

There had been some sort of food provided Friday evening, but the first I saw was breakfast on Saturday morning. This was a sort of continental blurred experience. The food was fine, but the task of making extra butties for my packed-lunch proved a bridge too far and I just pocketed anything that was already wrapped. I stepped into the bright morning sunshine with every intention to do some sort of run, but not the ball-breaker. In the end, the troops from Pattaya formed closed ranks around our banner on the beer tent and served ourselves all the time the runners were out and beyond. Some of us fell over twice during the day. I must have spilt some.

Eurohash

Eurohash

Eurohash

Eurohash

Before the party on Saturday night, which had a gothic/mediaeval theme, I managed to get a couple of hours kip and joined late. By time the morning was showing I was at full throttle and, although there was no scheduled nudity, managed to find a willing Teign Valley harriette who didn't mind being swung around to some track minus her kit. I slept well again.

By the time Sunday came, there wasn't much chance of our lot doing anything in the way of running. We just commandeered what beer we thought was ours before it went on the run and set up camp outside the beer tent again. This time we were joined by the Guernsey Harriettes, who seem to spend most of their time trying to outdo their male counterparts. They do Eurohash and the men do the UK Nash Hash. At the end of proceedings we had gathered enough followers to fill our 52 seater for the return trip and with us went all the left over cans of beer. A Bangkok Harriette Kim Nomore, who had come as a rep for Chiang Mai, provided an interesting and amusing air-hostess pre-flight impersonation.

Sunday night was spent out on the town with the Guernsey girls among others and I fell into bed at about 0300 Monday morning.

Monday was all about goodbyes and complicated plans to avoid the derailment on the way to the airport. I ended up taking a bus, the metro and then a train to get to Schipol, but made my flight on time.

It is now Wednesday night and I am due at work tomorrow. I know that one day I will feel my self again, but when, I am not sure. The event provided good food and good cold beer without the complication of that brown English stuff. I think there was wine and the Guernsey girls brought all manner of strange stuff. The location was truly beautiful, but if you like hills on your runs forget it. The European hasher is a different breed again and the UK hashers behave worse in Europe than they do at home. It's unfortunate that the next one will be in London. That makes as much sense to me as Oink offering to do the next Interskandi in Glasgow - but I'll be there!

What I do know is that our troops achieved what we set out to do. We realised for European hashers a 20 year old infamous SE Asian hashing tradition. A hasher today posted under Lost and Found that he had lost recollection of almost everything over the weekend, but remembers that he drank with the Pattaya Dirtroad.

On on, No More Cum.

No More Cum

Write up by No More Cum

Friday 19th August 2005 at 1:43pm