Lune Valley Hash House Harriers

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«Away R*ns»

Cockermouth H3 R*n #145

Date: 5th August 2007, 11am
Venue: Briar Bank, Cockermouth
Hares: Reuters and Misdemeanour

After the shock news of a Foot & Mouth Outbreak in the Southern Hashlands, the planned Embleton hash was rapidly rearranged to start at Cockermouth chez On Secs.

In traditional style, the hashers upset the neighbours by parking in front of their houses and parading in brightly coloured attire (apart from a few nameless ones modelling New Balance designer wear). The hash numbers were swelled by the welcome presence of 4 Loonies - (Lune Valley H3), namely Highway, Baldbrick, Upperskirt and MasterBaker.

The route started from the front garden of the Hares and after much confusion the pack found the correct trail around leafy suburbia before the walkers and runners routes split with the walkers heading of for the trim trail in Harris Park. Meanwhile, the runners eventually reached Simonscales Lane heading along the river through much-needed shiggy. At one point the river had burst its bank to cover the path. This is a British summer after all!

The sweet note of Baldbrick's horn kept the running pack together. On reaching Harris Park the runners rejoined the walkers route. A wayward note from the horn confused a passing 5 year old who thought that a ship was coming in. Cocker may become a navigable waterway for cruise liners by next year and pinch Workington's tourists.

The running water meanwhile was having an effect on the walking females hashers who took time out to take part the annual event "P in the Park". Uncharacteristically for Slasher the public facilities were actually used.

Spreadlegs went AWOL in the park and found her former hash friend "The Pirate" who was retrieving his frisbee from the river. After a few laps of the park, the walkers and runners routes converged and the combined pack made their way down Walker Street and then across Gote Bridge. At this point Plum Tart defected and joined the runners. (What- a defective hasher!) The walkers headed into the Memorial Gardens while the runners went on a loop up Gote Road. The carefully set checkback was shunned by the runners who could smell the flour near Jennings Brewery. Some even went into the Brewery Shop in the hope that the Jennings-sponsored tee shirts would lead to an impromptu beer stop. Alas there was nobody in the shop and the hashers resisted the temptation to help themselves, knowing that a superior tipple was awaiting them at the end of the hash.

A spate of careless blobbing caused some more confusion and brought back some musical memories amongst the George Michael fans. By this time the thought of beer and food was too much to bear and right on cue an On In appeared.

The hashers tried to make amends after previously upsetting the neighbours at Briar Bank by treating them to some mud-covered flesh as they changed on the street, drive and car port. The excellent Hesket Newmarket beers helped to replace some lost calories while the assembled throng took part in the new spectator sport. Thong was erecting his gazebo but he had a missing pole. Fortunately for Thong there were some pegs with this shelter. It's a miracle no ASBOs were dished out on this hash. The all too brief down downs were followed by a haute cuisine Barbie courtesy of the Hares.

Master Baker

Write up by Master Baker

Monday 13th August 2007 at 10:29pm