After getting lost and last to arrive I joined the circle in a muddy lane near Bitter & Twisted's house. Before we even start I was delighted to see there are no hills, which often keep me in the knitting circle! After confused instructions on checks with the hares not knowing the difference between open and closed checks, off we set with Baldbrick's canine friend Rufus knowing there were no false trails and an immediate wimp/rambo split. Off His Trolley, White Noise and Morticia kept me company on the wimp trail along a straight road and then over one of the many rickety stiles into the field following a ridge and through other well marked fields, until we were out on the road again to rejoin the rambos. Off His Trolley and I discover from hare Twisted that we are now FRB's!!! This is very bad news for Off His Trolley as I had already got lost once that day! Well my virgin FRB run lasted for all of about 3 minutes until we lost trail in the rushes and the rambos caught up and showed us the way over a "bridge" - really a green slippery plank of wood and then in true hash style we bravely hacked our way through high nettles and brambles with bare arms and legs, pretending not to flinch once as we got stung and scratched. On on we went over fields, lanes and along the canal to another wimp/rambo split. Once again hare Twisted was there to chaperone us wimps onto the right trail while the rambos continued along the canal. Us wimps ambled along the road arriving first at the very welcome beer stop in Catforth, with a grandstand view of the local football match. The rambos were soon seen appearing in the distance from the opposite direction, with two lively bullocks frolicking about at the sight of several brightly coloured lunatics cavorting across their field on a peaceful Sunday lunchtime.

Fortified with copious amounts of liquid, choccy biscuits and oranges we set off again to tackle the jungle-like footpaths, barbed wire gates, dodgy stiles and shiggy, finishing back at the start along the lanes to avoid the aggressive bovines earlier encountered by the hares while setting trail.

Then after removing as much shiggy as we could, we moved our cars up the road to Lavender Barn by kind invitation of Bitter and Twisted to enjoy a great lunch of hot pot, chilli, millionaires shortbread and other goodies while we "chilled" out in the garden and summer house. I then needed another change of footwear as Upperskirt once again showed us one of her party tricks and let a gust of wind tip the remains of her lunch over my clean trainers! After being fed and watered we collapsed in chairs and felt totally relaxed in the summer house for a while, until being called into the circle on the lawn by Antiseptic, who notebook in hand referee-style gave out the down downs, however no red cards or anyone sent off! Just down downs for hash hares Bitter and Twisted, Baldrick and Thunder Dick for being lazy hash FRB's walking the checks, Baldrick again for going off hash trail, No More Cum for hash mobile abuse, Upperskirt for hash racing and Morticia for no hash haberdash. We must learn the words to those new hash songs, luckily Cyberseptic knows them and the rest of us just tried to keep up making as much noise as we could! Halfpint invited us all to join him and the other SAD hashers on Tuesday for a hash around Settle followed by curry at his house.

Many thanks to Bitter and Twisted for their hospitality.