And so we gathered in The Longlands Hotel car park with eager anticipation of Maggy and Gary's first "hareing" effort.  It was unusually warm for October and this encouraged Cum Yum  Yum to run her first LV Hash.

Birthday boy was Hash Drunk & this was reflected by Pick Me Up having honoured the occasion by modelling a pristinely ironed hash T-shirt complete with a razor crease on each sleeve.  The Hash Haberdasher had had cause to reprimand her at previous hashes for the poor order of ironing or complete lack of it.

We set off in good spirits, and were soon greeted by many squashed rabbits who had strategically thrown themselves under car wheels in order to test our dancing skills to the full.  After this early exhibition of dainty dodging footwork, and a sprightly first check of the day by Lurch, we found ourselves on a country lane which took us to another check. The choice was either Priest Hutton or nowhere; No More Cum chose nowhere and followed the false trail beyond the call of duty. The rest chose Priest Hutton, leaving Slackbladder to summon his chum by horn.

The Hashers passing through Priest Hutton raised some bemused looks from the locals who had never seen or heard the like.. What was all this on on business?

The first Wimps/Rambos split of the day was encountered Lurch and Drunk took the latter while the rest took the wimps. The two tail enders, Slack and Cum slyly attempted to take the wimps route but were gleefully sent packing back to the rambos  by Pick Me Up and Forever Blowing.

HashDrunk was now on a mission to defy his unfortunate fast ageing circumstance and was away out in front.  Lurch had taken the clever option of a breather at a check, even though Drunk obviously thought he was onto something away in the distance.  Slack checked out the FT, up an overgrown farm lane, even though he was certain that it was one... Why? he asks himself... and he got nettled!  And while taking the opportunity to connect with nature closely avoided a wasp greeting!

Next in the Hares' armoury of tricks was to set a double false trail from a single false trail off a multiple check. This caused total confusion amongst the Rambos. Two were heard to comment, "we'll get'em in the circle for that," "even if it was good," (grudging admiration).  For the Rambos a trek through Borwick, down a long lane, over a packhorse bridge, and the Wimps hoved back into sight, dropping down onto the canal towpath, where we were all treated to an educational enlightenment on basic canal construction by No More Cum, on how puddling is the base layer to keep the water in.

It was so interesting that we almost forgot that we were in fact on The Hash, and ready for a beer stop... Round the next bend and... yes... there it was... fantastic... but what's this no beer... but orange segments... enthusiastically served by the Hares. This was however, welcomed by hashers young and old.

We all set off refreshed and soon came to a second split, right next to The Longlands!  The sensible Wimps called it a day, while the Rambos proceeded North only to be greeted by graffiti requesting their immediate attendance back at the pub!

The circle was a jovial affair.

There was a Down Down for The Hares..for setting a double false trail, telling the rambos to go back to where they had just come from, having a beer stop with no beer, thinking of having a septic tank, not having a septic tank but diverting their effluent past Slackbladder's front door. etc.etc.

They were soon back in the ring and after careful deliberation taking into account all facts known about them including Gary's love of computers were duly named:-Cyberseptic and Antiseptic.

There were also Down Downs for:-

• HashDrunk. For having his birthday on a hash day.
• Forever Blowing and Morticia For laughing at the rabbits (we know you weren't really)
• Cum Yum Yum. Virgin hasher(often attends but never runs),and deviously running just to get her name on our fast approaching 25th run T-shirt. GET YOUR ORDERS IN NOW FOLKS.

There being no other business we adjourned to the pub.