Tooth fairy was up nice and early to set this run 7.15am, home by 10am and that was walking with a sore foot, so we were reassured that this was not a long run.

She described her hash markings and as she did you could see confusion in the circle; open checks, flour and you're on, three blobs and you're on, find the bag of flour, set the trail yourself and you're on. We set off to see what we could find. All went well until we reached Arnside Tower, a derelict building with DANGER KEEP OUT notices on every face and a brigade of Brownies were resting outside. The trail led into the tower where there was a check. How bad is that? But things got worse, some of the brownies followed the hashers into this DANGEROUS BUILDING to see what they were looking at. What was Brown Owl thinking of letting her Brownies into such a perilous place? What if one of those wobbly blocks of stone at the top of that tall trembling tower had loosened and been caught by a gust of wind that had blown it off and imagine if it had plummeted onto a Brownie. Imagine the headlines the recriminations, the repercussions. Where was Brown Owl? Why did she take her beady eyes off her fledglings? Imagine the implications for hashing, Tony Blair would legislate against it or at best regulate it. How much fun would that be?

Oh well, I think they survived this time at least there was nothing on the local news this evening.

Apart from the check only a meticulous search worthy of an air sea rescue revealed trail and we were off to the woods. We were doing well until we crossed towards Arnside Knot where the trail appeared to disappear. Another search which was more difficult than looking for a needle in a haystack revealed to Bubbles minute traces of flour and the Wimps continued merrily to the beer stop whilst the rambos got themselves thoroughly lost, but in ones and two's they homed in on refreshments except for White Noise and Off His Trolley, who Lurch had last sighted heading off on the road to Milnethorpe. But ultimately they thought better of it and just as Tooth fairy was preparing to set off on a rescue mission, they arrived to cheers.

The second half of the run took us out to the coast and wonderful views. We passed a field of miniature ponies and another of rare sheep. We formed a circle by the Millennium Clock and a bad smell.

D2's went to:

• Tooth fairy, for an enjoyable run with variable markings
• Bitter and Twisted for not smiling in hash photos.
• Twisted and Feels on Wheels for no hash haberdash
• Cyberseptic for a killing a fly with his eye.

We retired into The Royal Hotel, one of the few non-smoking pubs in the area.