Once there was only Darkness

Then there was Light.

Then came the skies, the waters, the land, and the people – oh, and Sorbothane.

And the people asked the Eternal Questions: Why are we here?  Who has made us?  Why do number 34 buses come in threes?

And then there was Hash.

And came The Day, Hash was in a field near Crook where the skies, water, land, people and Sorbothane were all getting mixed up and a bit confused as to who ought to be on top, and Came the Ultimate Question:

“Why Do We Do This?”

Hash, many strong on This Day despite the confusion of Waters, Land and Skies, sought these Answers in many slopes, fields and lanes in the Vicinity of Crook and Jolly Nice it was too.  The Great One Madge had witnessed a Large Number of Circumlocutions of the Fiery Orb and so many were adorned with pointy hats in Reverence.

And when Hash had Considered, it was Uttered thus:

“You wouldn’t do something mad like this on your own” – the Unexplained Companionship of the Insane?

“Gets you out on a Sunday morning” – Uttered in Reverence for the Seventh Day

“Better than watching Hollyoaks in bed” – true, but Isn’t It All?

“For the Skaggy” - Uttered by the Eternal Child in Our Midst

“You don’t think about work for a bit”, so The Healer Uttered, though no doubt aware that it was Good for Drumming Up Business

“Its good for the complexion” - shortly after the Utterer had Hash Crashed on the Complexion-Benefiting Substance

“Because my Dad makes me” - surely a Subtle Twist on the Eternal Truth, “my Dad Made Me, along with my Mum”

“Because its there” - Uttered in Deference to the Great Person Sir Edmund Hillary, who ceased to be Here this week

“It’s my replacement for Catholic Guilt, now I get up on Sunday mornings for this” Ah, Reverence Indeed!

“For the Chips” – this is also an Eternal Truth.  Alas The Chips In The Sun were only awarded 5/10 on This Day

and lastly, spake The Virgin “Because my friend Twit said it would be good – woops!”.  And this Utterance marked the second Hash Crash of the Day.  And in its kernel we discover the third Eternal Truth uncovered this day – there is nothing Better than Slapstick.

And in the Circle Of Reverence came The Virgin With The Improved Complexion; The One Recently Betrothed And Also With Child, whereupon there was much Wonder at the Fast Work; and The Twit for, well, being a Twit.

And there was much Mirth and Togetherness then we all went to the pub.

Amen.