Thrifty hashers and ramblers don’t pay parking fees in Clapham.  The acres of the National Park car park had just 3 cars whilst scores of cars parked nose to tail up the narrow main street.

A rousing chorus of the Adams family theme tune announced my slightly late arrival, just in time for a viewing of Off His Trolley’s hairy, pink and not entirely beautiful stomach (a view with which no doubt White Noise will profoundly disagree).  The power of being GM has a strangely intoxicating effect on normally sober men and turns them into exhibitionists.

The Hares:  Antiseptic, Cyberseptic and Feels on Wheels are all well known for long runs, and putting their efforts together could be dangerous.  However Cyber like 95% of our hashers has been suffering some horrible lurgy with sore throats the common complaint:  Antiseptic obviously hasn’t quite sterilised her hubby.  I reckon that sales of Paracetamol and Aspirin must be stratospheric this year.  The Hares’ instructions were short:  all open checks, and you might be retracing your steps (duhhhh – you could be back at the start shortly after the first check with such instructions).

We shuffled off down the main street and followed the river downstream to the main road.  Major Twit asked if anyone (else) was running.  No, the majority of us were content to walk.  At the main road we doubled back into the village on the opposite side of the stream.  You could sense that in and out routes were too close together for open checks and so it proved to be.  Indeed the in and out routes must necessarily and logically have crossed, but the Hares seem not to have quite thought through the possibilities that such crossings might not work.

We found a check with a stile leading into someone’s garden.  We fanned out leaving Bubbles to wave to a bemused house-owner and explore her garden.  Eventually on-on calls drew us up the village to a steep lane.  Up we went and then found a fish-hook which was upside down.  Two theories: the Hares were bonkers or we were doing the trail backwards.

We reached a farm and then steeply down to the road to Ingleborough Cave where Feels On Wheels had half the Beer Stop on her back.  I carried it up to the cave entrance and we had the beer stop.  Antiseptic came to remind us not to forget that we were doing the trail backwards – that would be hard. Rambos carried on up the valley and I joined the Wimps to stroll back down.  Then Antiseptic ran off down the valley never to be seen again.

In Clapham once more, the snowdrops brought signs of spring and the climbing shop hunt for bargains began.  Shortly after that the rescue team set out in search of missing Antiseptic.

I’m assuming that Antiseptic has returned as Morticia and Lurch had to zoom off to Carnforth in search of Cousin It, returning by coach from a week’s skiing in Aosta.

Down Downs went to:

• the hares for: trail reverse excellent an Setting
• Highway: Excellent fashion attire.

Anyway – we had a pleasant stroll to blow away some cobwebs – and I look forward to doing some hashing again soon.  Many thanks to you for sponsoring Wednesday’s half marathon in Blackpool for the Army Benevolent Fund.