The urban passageways twixt Morecambe and Lancaster were so congested tonight that not even a generous dollop of Vicks would have cleared them. My resultant tardy appearance is to blame for you having to digest the r*n from my distorted viewpoint.

All in all, it was a good turnout for an evening r*n, our numbers swelled by the presence of 3 virgins, who sounded like they had already been given hash names. I think we can improve on them though, don’t you? We were also honoured by the appearance of the Grand Wizor Bubbles, who had flown in direct from Katmandu just to see us off. As the alternative Himalayan underground calendar is recognising the month of the dog, he bid us take care of Harry and make sure he had enough sheep to eat.

As an old hashing wound was playing me up, I was reduced to the role of knitting matron and asked to take care of the virgins. Well, we’ve mentioned the sheep already….enter the wolf! The trail took us in a figure of eight with a viewpoint and two fish-hooks thrown in. Although we haven’t seen much rain recently, the hares managed to get water inside my sandals. The route was just the job for an evening jaunt and not too long to infringe on pub-time. The planet Cum was well represented amongst the FRBs by Cum Yak Yak, who seems keener than ever to take the mantle from her dad.

I had chance to meet up with the Septics again, back from distant hashing adventures in the antipodes. Scouse Count (love that name) was back too and able to share experiences with me from Pattaya in particular and SE Asia in general. We discussed our sexual preferences and agreed that we’d probably picked up our deviant ways from our parents.

Back at the A-site, there were more biscuits than at a vicar’s tea party ( I imagine!?) and not a beer in sight until the circle began. Beer rewards were doled out as is traditional. Bitter and Baker had invented a new form of basic communication, while several others had joined the MWBC (Morticia’s Weak Bladder Club). Cyberseptic, however, can beat anybody in the bowel movement stakes. He had reportedly knocked out five logs in the garden in between hanging out the washing. I say, “bring back outside toilets!”

While the rest went back to the Priory (no doubt for more biscuits, cups of tea and lashings of ginger ale), me and Cum Yak Yak went to the pub, got absolutely wrecked, crashed the car, robbed the off-licence and spray-painted the town hall.

Virgins

Adele
Mimi
Lucky