Hello Hashers, yer old mate and GM Baldbrick here. Run 299, set by Tdick and Bedside Manner, the weather was excellent, well done Thunder Dick you usually get bollocked for bad weather on your runs.

We got to the Hares house only to be told to go to Booths in Carnforth. So we assembled at Booths, we were joined by the Bollocks family from Newcastle and our mate Simple. So off we set a mere twenty minutes late on out of Carnforth towards Warton, we ran alongside lots of railway tracks and sidings and poor old Bitter was literally dribbling. We thought  we were going to the races we were so close to Warton stock car racetrack, several Hashers nearly got cleaned up by traffic trying to get to the racing, anyway we went in the opposite direction which eventually went uphill toward Warton crag and I thought oh no Tdick you barsteward not up there, anyway he resisted the temptation to be a complete t--t and took us off down country lanes and through some lovely woods.

I must point out that somewhere about this stage of the hash at a good viewpoint Twisted came out with the most amazing statement of the 21st century. Oh there are TWO nuclear power stations at Heysham, Bless her, definately Blonde, funny though I never picked up on the Essex accent before.

More country lanes and then the 1st Beer stop, very near Leighton hall, Antiseptic very nearly nipped in to clock on. Away we went cross country past a very old lime kiln and on unusually under the M6 and along the canal towpath on to the 2nd beer stop, away again and by this time having been unwell all this year I lost the will to live, took the wimp split and although I am aware we were still in beautiful scenery I lost the plot because I had nothing left that didn't ache.

Boy was I glad to get back to the Hares house and sit in there lovely garden with a lifesaving CANOBEER. The Rambo split was cleverly done as we all got back within minutes, even the walking dead, IE me. The apres hash fayre was excellent, as we have become accustomed with these two HARES. Bloody good hash. On a more sober note the Hares announced they are pregnant , well Bedside Manner is, He's just putting weight on. I am sure all you guys join me in wishing them well, I just hope that the babe be it boy or girl takes after it's mum, should it look like it's dad can I suggest some names, for a girl Judy, if a boy Cheetah.

Love you all Baldbrick ON ON.

If I missed anything or anyone I apologise it's late and I'm VERRY VERRY DRUNK. XXX