Hi Hashers, GM here, I really must start to remember to appoint a scribe. Anyway run 306 from Spark Bridge, beautiful day, beautiful area, a BLOODY good day out Ouch. Started by gashing my head on Forever Blowings deadly boot lid. Much BLOOD much consternation, much first aid, large bandages and much laughter, mostly from Forever Blowing, although I must admit that her bandages did a good job even if I did look a complete dick for the run, where was Morticia and her nursey skills when she could have been useful for once.

Anyway off we went, BIG hills up, lovely views from the tops and big hills down, lots of woods, lots of sharp brambles, lots of big teethed bugs that Speedbump gave some unusual scientific names to, but then she is a professor of languages, mostly foul. We had a car beer stop at a point with a lovely view and then a pub beer stop at the White Hart at Bouth with an even better view, namely the dozen or so Geordie, scantily clad young beauties, off we went through more woods, lovely scenery and hills, finally back down the huge hill we set off up, down to the village green by the river where we lingered drinking lashings of ginger beer and lemonade. Bubbles had even managed to persuade a beautiful young thing to parade before us wearing a tiny red bikini, wow, I had to have two glasses of lemonade.

Down downs were given to

• Full Member for ignoring Bubbles new markings that look like square tits
• Speedbump for foul language
• Forever Blowing for laughing at me all DAY
• Dormouse for getting lost more times than we could remember.

I am sure there were more down downs than that but I have had several large glasses of lemonade since then. The entire pack then retired to the Royal Oak for excellent beers and food. General consensus of opinion was that Bubbles and Forever Blowing are finally getting the hang of haring, long may it continue. I challenge Bubbles to get more scantily clad totty into his next run.

ON ON your slightly anaemic GM Baldbrick. XXX