R*n 367: Barbon

Such is the reputation of Lurch and Morticia's amazing trails, we saw today's hash attended by hashers from such far flung places as Morecambe, Ulverston and the Soloman Isles! The visiting Rabbi (his hash name not his occupation) had heard so much about these fabulous r*ns set by our very own Addams family adults, that he sailed many days across the ocean to join us at Barbon. Actually, he was over visiting his rellies for Xmas but seeing as Lurch loaned me some money to go to the On Inn when I forgot my purse, I thought I had better "big Lurch and his r*n up".

On a cold day, we had many hashers turning up at the start circle (obviously all wanting to work off the Xmas excess) and so we set forth. Even Whitenoise had decided to come out of hiding and practice her RA'ing skills at the end of the hash with her naming and shaming. Actually there was not much shaming as she said she did not see much action at the back of the hash (also probably exhausted her vocal cords chatting to our visitor (hence her hash handle). Off His Trolley was also seen at the rear of the hash but think this was down to the wind resistance from his eyebrows preventing him from being an FRB.

The trail took us through fabulous countryside with lots of shiggy but very little roadwork to do. We saw a very stretched out group of hashers as the FRBs hit the checks, however, the whole group were soon brought back together via the clever use of the old fish-hooks. Whoever invented the fish-hook needs congratulating (or shooting) depending on your fitness level!

Bitter (who has limped around the hash for many months with a man-flu problem affecting his sciatic nerve), became an FRB for part of the hash having decided he needed to start the year with a bang. At last the viagra pills are working (but obviously not in the right body part)!

Following a beer stop which saw all sorts of goodies coming out for consumption, we set off back towards Barbon via what seemed to be one long golf course. We ran into trouble (not from flying balls) but disappearing flour. We thought Lurch must have run out of flour but put it down to trail sabotage as that sounded much more exciting!

Back at the On Inn (in the absence of Upper Skirt who said she got lost again on the r*n back), Whitenoise named two biggies and a smallen' - baby Freddie named "Eeeee,Coli" after his septic grandparents, and "Turkish Delight" aka Benda and "The Gobbler" aka Guy, who first experienced hashing in Turkey and thought (stupidly) that our r*ns would be very hot and very alcoholic (wrong on two counts)!

We all piled into the On Inn and was served good food and drink by the landlady and my lasting memory is hearing laughter and shared conviviality amongst our fellow hashers (except for Minor Tw*T who wouldn't let me put my cold hands on his warm body - spoil-sport!