Ho ho ho, and another jolly boxing day r*n is upon us already. Another year gone by when we passed our 400 r*ns and successfully transferred mismanagement to yet another team of willing volunteers. And thanks again to Bitter and Twisted for hareing another boxing day r*n, this year at the Patten Arms which, according to Sir Tom Tom is the perfect hashing pub. So naturally we hounds all expected the perfect hash.

Well for a start, Antiseptic and I arrived 5 minutes late and there was sign of neither hare or pack. Luckily Layby was in attendance lurking in the car, as she does, and was able to point us in the right direction. Following her recent shoulder replacement operation, Anti was only able to walk gingerly for the first mile of the r*n and turn back while I actually had to run to catch up with the tail end.

Seasonal dress varied from very silly to non-existent with Baldbrick in full Santa gear and Elbow Deep in full angel get-up including wings and halo. The latter precipitated a re-naming of Elbow Deep to Stinkerbell, all being in favour on the day.

So the first mile of trail lay down a straight farm track heading west between flat, waterlogged fields which promised horrendous shiggy to come. At a gas pumping station the trail then veered south into said fields at first only inches deep in shiggy but deepening as we progressed Twisted was the hare in attendance and at one point had to ask for assistance as she was sucked off by the shiggy, her shoe that is. I gladly obliged, in recovering the shoe that is.  Several more shiggy incidents and crashes later the trail led through a disgusting, heaving mess of a farm which reeked with unspeakable fester. Congratulations to the hares for gracing the trail with such a memorable experience. Curiously, said farm had accumulated many hundreds of pieces of concrete sewer pipe, which we could only surmise were being stored for a time when the price of concrete soars.

Realising that there was not going to be the accustomed beer or mince pie stop, we pressed on via a final mile of tarmac to the on inn and finished more or less together, rain-free for a change and ready for beer. Circle was conducted by STT, self-appointed GM for the day, and down downs were awarded to Twisted for mis-spelling meted on the website, Highway for being the first to arrive at the on on without a false Santa beard, both Twisted and Stinkerbell for respective murder attempts on other hashers on the trail and possible Chemical Alley, though I can't remember for what.

A jolly time, good beer and food were had by all in the pub where we were joined by Antiseptic and various non-hash friends. Good cheer abounded as befits the final r*n of 2011. On on to 2012.