Today marked Off His Trawler's first LVH3 outing since his unfortunate encounter with a fishmonger. Despite White Bait's best efforts to keep the matter hush-hush, details of the incident had inexplicably leaked out into the public domain. Mind you, posting a full account on Plaicebook probably didn't help; damselfish of the woman if you ask me, she must hake sole responsibility, she is coley to blame. Whatever, the poor man has suffered enough, so no more fish jokes, hoki?

11.02 on a bleak morning, not a ray of sun to be seen. We'd all paid our two squid so, as we were a couple of minnows late, Upperskate thought we'd betta get going and salmoned us into the circle. She asked me to be scribe and, as I'm a dab hand, I didn't need to mullet over. I really should keep my big goby shut.

We snook off: Loach and Morefisha, Eels On Whales et al. The terrain wasn't too hilly - in fact it was rather flatfish - and before long we reached a Shrimps/ Rambos split. Baldbrick, our trumpeter, who's always out of tuna and makes us all wish we were hard of herring, took the easy option and, as I was trout of breath, starting to puffer and grunt a bit and beginning to flounder, I followed. Not a wise choice, as one field was a bit crappie; it smelt awful, there was a right old tench.

Hot drinks were on offer at the beer stop, and we didn't pike at the chance of a nice guppy of char.

We scampied off again, and later I slipped and fell, torpedoing my chances of staying dry. "Cobblers", I thought as I sprat on my arse. Luckily I was unhurt and didn't need a sturgeon.

Eventually we decided to jack it in, because we wanted to be sardine the pub, perched on chairs with a pint of bitterling. At this point I should roach the subject of the down downs, but I really don't want to carp on about it. As White Bait was standing there breaming, fishing for compliments and angling for praise, we only said nice things about the r*n, especially as we had haddock good time. Others were punished for their oarfish and clownfish behaviour, but that's another dory.

Good pub, good grub - I can recommend the fish.

See you at the next r*n, cod willing.