When one is dobbed in for scribing one knows that your protests will fall on deaf ears. It was clear that this wasn't going to be much of a write up as I formed the other half of the knitting circle with Bitter.

The weather was glorious as we set out from Dolphinholme Village Hall. Bitter and I were soon holding up the rear. As there were no wimps/rambo splits the Hare, Morticia, had a other ideas for keeping the pack together.

As Bitter and I appeared over a stile onto a road, we were ordered into the back of an unmarked vehicle. Many things ran through our minds - was this to be our final journey - would we ever see our loved ones again - were we to become Morticia's xxx slaves kept in some remote building known only to her.

After what seemed an eternity it became apparent that our journey had come to an end. We were forced out of the car and ordered to continue the hash - now at the front! What a relief. Life could continue as normal with no need to appear on TV news as a pair of released victims who could have been abused for months, or even years.

It was then our wives appeared and we reflected on whether the other option wasn't actually too bad!

We passed a beautiful house that we saw being renovated on r*n 262 (Tuesday 20th May 2008).

Morticia had asked the hash to find her G-spot*, evidently something Lurch has been unable to do. The hash rallied round and found it with no bother although we found the area to be quite moist (due to the boggy ground underfoot I might add). She had said that we might also have trouble finding our way from her G-spot* but we managed to wrestle ourselves away on trail.

It was soon after the beer stop that it happened again. We were forced into that same vehicle. Shaking with fear, with no protest, we entered the vehicle and were driven to a remote location and told to follow a footpath sign. What happened in that car during that journey I have no idea as I think Bitter & I were drugged at the beer stop. Our heads were spinning but I think now it could have been the cheap lager.

We found oursleves at the front again having to check out the trail to make life easier for the rambo's and before we knew it we were back at the village hall where we soon saw familiar, friendly faces who comforted us after our ordeal.

As to what happened in the circle I can't recall as I was overwhelmed with relief and the effect of the drugs from the beer stop. I got the feeling that everybody had a good time and that Morticia was very pleased her G-spot had been found.

*G-spot - a location on the hash marked with a G where the hash 'gather' to look at the view and allow the knitting circle to catch up.