They didn’t tell us it was Scout Scar.

They told us on the website that it was Helsington Church near Sizergh.

Helsington Church is not near Sizergh, unless you happen to be a crow.

Helsington Church is near Brigsteer, but we can’t mention Brigsteer since Baldbrick had his famous fall in Brigsteer when he tripped over Harry and fell so badly that he had to spend the whole of the run having a slap up meal in the local pub, which then closed as he had eaten all the food and was not available to ordinary hashers!

They didn’t tell us about the heavy fall of snow the previous day which made the hares use skis to set the run but it had melted away to the usual shiggy by the time we set off!

Duly fooled, a huge contingent of hashers showed up at the Church with the best view in South Lakeland, expecting to run towards Sizergh where a convenient castle and pub provide excellent hashing country.

Off we went running not downhill but uphill and across a lane and uphill again towards Helsington Barrow where we were expecting to be accosted by a Coster Monger selling fruit and vegetables.

We were the fruitcakes as then we ran up and up and up and up until those familiar with Kendal saw the famous umbrella viewpoint on the top of Scout Scar.

By this time the snow had vanished and been replaced by a horizontal wind which made it impossible for any hasher to stay vertical, so we dashed for the cliff edge, hoping the hare had laid on some paragliding equipment for the quick descent. No such luck, we had to use our legs.

Nobody fell but we knew why the Mountain Rescue had sent a special envoy to escort us on this run.

Down and down and down we went until we saw Brigsteer for the first time late enough in the day to prevent a recurrence of Baldbrick’s fall.

The run wasn’t over yet as we had to climb back up to the church with the famous view many miles above us.

Then the most difficult bit - finding the Pub in Sizergh before everyone went home. Good food and good beer and it doesn’t close early. No down downs were given as the wind was too strong to stand up that long.

On On to the next one.