Hi there hashers Baldbrick here scribing r*n 491.

What a bloody awful day it was, all you faint hearts out there who gave it a miss, good idea, you missed a right soaking. On our arrival the hares looked like a pair of drowned rats with Major Twit looking particularly bedraggled. UpperSkirt and I decided that for the first time ever we would wear all waterproofs and wellies and we were later very glad we did.

Off we went up hill and onto the golf course, there were no golfers about as the course was sodden, once through there we were into open country, very boggy fields and swollen streams, we were accompanied by Twit who guided us along until we went down a hill to a footbridge over a stream which I recognised from a much earlier hash, she insisted that this was not the right way but when we got to the bridge some bugger had laid flour there. On we went across more flooded fields, the wellies had been a good idea,and into a lane which I recognised as leading to the Masons Arms at Ingleton, how far are the hares taking us we thought, fortunately we made a left turn into more flooded fields back towards Bentham, it was at this point I thought we must be going through crop fields because there in the middle stood a scarecrow, on closer inspection it turned out to be Rabbi who had turned up late got a lift to the beerstop and backtracked towards us, out of the fields and down a wooded lane to the aforementioned beerstop.

The trail had been well marked but the knitting circle managed to go wrong somehow and were only just appearing as we left the beerstop, most of the second part of the r*n was on country lanes because I think the hares had shortened it a bit due to the weather and nobody at all did the Rambo split, it was still over 5 miles long and a good route, well done hares. Down downs were given to me for losing my tartan scarf on the trail, Cyber insisted I drink it through my scarf but it turned out to be impossible because as a good tartan tweed should be it was waterproof and the beer wouldnt come out of the cup. Off his trolley got a down down and a polo shirt for being 200 and Foreverblowing got the same for being 300, she doesnt look it though in fact she looked very fetching in Bubbles tartan undies. The on inn was extremely welcome with warmth, good beer and excellent grub.

On our way home in Upperskirts car a noisy fracas broke out in the back over the missing house keys and who was to blame for their being lost, I think several blows were landed and Upperskirt offered to referee, anyway it eventually turned out to be Off his trolleys fault as he had lost them in Whitenoises coat pocket, the stupid hasher.

All in all another memorable hash for one reason or another, long may we continue

ON ON yer auld mate Baldbrick.