Lune Valley Hash House Harriers

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R*n 510 location

R*n 510 started from Meadowbank Lane, Grange over Sands and the On Inn was Commodore Inn, Grange-over-Sands.

Who ran 510? - data up to & including this r*n

Hash HandleHareHoundTotal
Lurch - Hare50256306
Morticia - Hare49257306
Fur Coat75865
Simple (Visitor)01414
Sir Tom Tom31167198

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On Inn - Commodore Inn, Grange-over-Sands

Image of Commodore Inn, Grange-over-Sands

This was our 2nd visit. We also visited on...


Sunday 27th July 2014 at 11:00am

DaytimeR*n 510 »


At a time when most people’s thoughts are directed, quite understandably, to a calm and sober reflection on the carnage and slaughter of the Great War, I find myself pondering its 1939 sequel and its many slogans such as “Keep Calm & Carry On” and, especially, “Careless Talk Costs Lives”. How tragic it is that we seem to have cast aside and forgotten the lessons of yesteryear – an oversight which almost had dire consequences for LVH3. How so, you may ask.

Well, one of the keys to a successful military campaign is keeping the enemy from finding out your secrets. The element of surprise and all that. The Germans didn’t invent the Enigma machine just because somebody fancied a typewriter with a bit of bling – they wanted certain things keeping private, such as their plans for world domination.

LVH3 is a bit like an army really, under the command of General Cyberseptic, ably assisted by Signals/ Liaison Officer Major Highway, and, specially chosen for the assault on Grange for their ability to keep a secret, PSMs Lurch and Morticia. More than in any of our 500-plus campaigns to date, keeping shtoom was deemed essential. Not even the local NAAFI (The Commodore) was to be informed of our troop movements on the day, and General Cyberseptic had ordered a complete communications blackout prior to the big push.

Then – horror of horrors – some wretched fifth columnist within our movement , just hours before the planned assault, put the details on the website in plain view of everyone, including – potentially – enemy agents. Too late now to cancel the action; all we could do was keep our fingers crossed and hope that not too many of the wrong kind of people would know where the rendez-vous point was and show up.

Fortunately, only a handful turned up (thank heavens – it could easily have been twenty or more); all the same, though, it must have given Lurch and Morticia a nasty turn, as they crept stealthily across the battlefield, to see people in full running gear lying in wait for them. General Cyberseptic would have seen the b*ggers off, I’m sure, but apparently he was otherwise engaged on the Western Front as part of some international brigade.

Lurch and Morticia had set out at dawn to reconnoitre the terrain and, presumably, disarm all the landmines. This they must have accomplished very successfully, as we didn’t suffer a single casualty or even hear a single explosion. They left piles of white powder along the way, and also a few arrows, to help us avoid enemy machine gun emplacements. We lost sight of Major Highway a few times, and feared that he might have been taken prisoner, but on each occasion we eventually saw him in the distance, silhouetted against the skyline, and we realised he must have been mounting some kind of rearguard action.

The countryside and the views were so beautiful, it brought a tear to my eye. You really wouldn’t think there was a war on. I think I’ll go and lie down now.

On on!

Sir Tom Tom

Write up by Sir Tom Tom

5th August 2014 at 5:47pm