As your humble guest scribe I must apologise in advance for any inaccuracies as the GM's random appointment of moi by her standard whirling dervisher technique also included a lack of pen and paper so as a paid up member of PUPS please note that what you about to read either actually happened,is happening now or will have happened some time in the future - or nearly anyway.

A motley bunch of over dressed hashers for such a sunny day turned up at the Black Bull for what appears to have been the umpteenth time wondering what Sir Tom Tom had in store for us - so we listened and listened whilst he gave a long rambling but very erudite ergonomic discourse as to why the run was marked mostly in chalk rather than flour with a lengthy aside about the dangers of a washed out footpath (do we have a politically correct spy from the Health and Safety Administration in our midst?) and some uber,uber splits. There was clearly too much information for Cyberseptic - he with the long legs and cloth ears - as he was convinced that the most important part of the run - the beer stop - wasn't happening. The amazed pack quickly put him right before milling around at the front of the pub wondering where to go.

White Noise had a head start as she had seen chalk marks on the way to the on inn and still had enough faculties to remember where there were so the pack followed her along the beck to the main road before milling around once more on the disused railway line (Dr Beeching has much to answer for with hindsight). Some brave hasher led us across the waterlogged flood plain of the Lune to the imposing municipal magnificence of the Thirlemere - Manchester water supply line where we looked in awe at the 1922,1995 and 2015 flood levels (Office Trolley waxed so lyrical about this feat of engineering I believe he actually worked on the project!). Having crossed the Lune by this modern marvel we entered a delightful bluebell wood to the strains of the Teddy Bears picnic and the realisation that the pack had become modern day versions of Winnie - The - Pooh characters ( so who do you think you are?). More waterlogged flood plain before we came to the dreaded washed out foot path - in trepidation the three geriatrics at the rear (Highway,Office Trolley and Rabbi) looked at this insurmountable obstacle until two fairies (GM + Another) appeared out of the woods and lifted up the netting to allow us through. A slight scramble up the hill and along the side of the wood before we crossed the Lune once more over the disused railway line only to have a pleasant stroll disturbed by kamekazi pram pushers and dare devil cyclists. Then out of the wild blue yonder staggering towards the rear guard appeared Dripper - the only Hasher that found the fish hook and knew what to do about it - when he realised he reached his journeys end he did an abrupt about turn, regained his breath and sped off after the rest of the pack. By the time the rear guard had left the line it was reduced to Office Trolley and Rabbi - but Office Trolley,using local knowledge decided to head straight to the Station Hotel but to no avail. He then ignored chalk and went towards the Ship before realising we had already passed Sir Tom Toms abode so by taking a somewhat circuitous approach we joined the rest of the pack quaffing the nectar of the Gods in the Hares back yard as we basked in the warm sunshine like crocodiles on an African sand bank.

Sir Tom Tom gave the pack more complicated instructions with emphasis on not doing the uber,uber rambo spilt before the pack lurched off thru' the village and up into the hills to marvel at the extensive views over the Lune Valley and beyond. The ground was exceptionally waterlogged with enough shiggy to satisfy even the hardiest of hashers (Cyberseptic even contemplated going barefoot to maximise his commune with nature). Descending the hills we were greeted by the welcome site of our good shepherd Sir Tom Tom pointing out the shortest way to the on inn which yours truly took.

Our illustrious GM started the circle in glorious sunshine with the obligatory down down for the hare before Baldbrick took over the circle and proved men are capable of multi-tasking by running the circle and pouring the down downs at the same time without any diminution in his usual banter. The long distance visitors were first in - Dripper from Chorley and Rabbi from the Solomon Islands. Darth Vaidar in her dazzling dress of many colours was hauled up on account of some embarrassing previous misdemeanour which had Bubbles (or his doppelganger side kick in orange whose name escapes me) muttering about certain potential anal occurrences. Office Trolley and his naive offsider Rabbi were cajoled into the circle for the sin of trying to buy a beer in the Station rather than drink a freebie at the beer stop next door. Cyberseptic dobbed himself in for the sin of inattention at the start of the Hash.Some other meri (possibly the GM) got a down down for something else but by then the heat was getting to the scribe so the circle closed and we retired to the pub. The weather was so warm the diners had their meal outside but before the food arrived Office Trolley conducted an ancient pagan ritual to placate the gods by making a copious libation of the fluid of sustenance over the outside furniture. The food was so tasty that aerial invaders attacked both Baldrick and Darth Vaidar before the remnants of the pack called it a day and made their way homeward after a most enjoyable Hash.

Tank ui tu mas fo lettim mi stori lilbit long olgeta sumting wea himme appen long Hash - bae bae lukim ui behin.

ON ON Rabbi