What sort of Hash is this starting a run at a closed pub??

Having greeted those that I remember from your 50th w/e I was greeted with the news that the hares were lost... this Hash has DEFINITELY got problems!!

After Lurch turned up he went off a while later to find Morticia, on her return we were given some run advise, (perhaps "don't do it" might've been one)... But we're Hashers and we don't on principle do anything sensible. DO WE??

During the preliminaries I was advised that I was scribe.. That's simple I thought I don't know who the hell you all are, I could always say what the dogs did as there were fewer of them and I might in my addled state have more chance of remembering their names!

Off we set along Sizergh Castle drive and then a check saw us back together as we then passed through fields, up paths, lots of wet/muddy conditions underfoot. Finally to what had apparently been a Rambo/Wimps split.. Trouble was that it had been driven over, so after a long time conjugating the pack split. Which way to go? Am I a Rambo? These are difficult questions to answer when the previous night at home, when there had been a sizable consumption of whisky, all in the name of Burns you know! Well I went right, but was that right? My bottom definitely knows we took the longer route right at the moment! We did seem to spend some considerable time wandering around looking for flour in various fields, but we finally did meet the hares for a drinks stop. 10 out of 10 for seeing to all our needs, spiritual and pastoral, (but were TWO Mountain Rescue Ambulances necessary... what sort of Hash am I with ??) 

The other half of the pack had apparently passed through some time ago, so it didn't look as though we would catch up with them. More searching for flour saw us make our way loosing height gradually, passing some very pretty properties with streams..now our aesthetic needs were seen to. Pity though the mist limited the view over the Winster valley. Along a long wet and muddy path finally saw the GM and I finishing it off together... as it were! It did us and others, we later gathered, miss the trail and we had to spend some time quite simply... lost! I have to admit that by chance more than skill we did come across the trail. A minor fracas with a small gate, the wrong bit of it didn't move, saw us finally back with the pack at the cars. We weren't last I was glad to note. Much longer and there would've been people talking. Not those Hashers do that!

The Ra started the Down Downs

• the Hares, for a run variously described as "enjoyed", "too short", "just long enough"
• what are you all describing??  As for "plenty of shaggy"... now I know!
  Editors note:: I think it should read shIggy.
• 3 visiting virgin hashers, "it's alright"
• visiting hashers, me

Stand in RA took over then

• Hash Horn, "slowest but good"
• Tim and I, for on your arses
• me again, for rubbishing the GM, well isn't that part of the job deion? And also for being incompetent (that bloody stile)
• Adams family, what an appropriate name for a hash set from a "haunted" house, up in the mist with a spooky churchyard
• Tim and Liz, it was time for their naming, so after some thoughts, they were christened "Peeping Tim" and "Odd Glimpse" respectively
• GM, for his phone going off in the circle and foolish enough to answer it!, he had to take it on his knees from the road

Tricia took over for DDs to

• the Hares, for leaving rubbish on the trail and
• Odd, Glimpse, Peeping Tim, Atomic Caton, The Judge, The Accused and Old Banger, for seeing the above mentioned rubbish and simply just leaving it!

A final unexpected DD

• Goody Two Shoes, for spliting on the aforementioned

Most of us found ourselves at the "Hare and Hounds" in Levens for much wanted sustenance, chips and beer. Thank you all for a great Sunday.

The best bit?  The wonderfully deep and hot ****  back home!

ON ON   Tooth Fairy