R*n 614: Porches

Sun, sea, sand - and hashing - what's not to like?!

With the trials and tribulation of yesterday's international travel firmly behind us we were collected in our air-conditioned taxis - with blacked out windows to protect us from the paparazzi that follow B-list celebrities on their holidays. On on to Porches Pottery about 20 minutes away from our bijoux Hotel, all expertly arranged by Madge and Syd.

We were welcomed with open arms and open ice boxes full of beer by BirdWoman and many other members of Algarve hash. But were we able to set off on this mammoth hash with warm, dry feet? NO - not all of us as our eagle-eyed Antiseptic had spotted a plethora of shiny new shoes. In fact one whole family must have spent a small fortune at Pete Blands that week. After the obligatory waste of beer draining through shoes, welcomes, thank yous and a bit of present giving we set off - some of us with one foot soggier than the other!

I am pleased and proud to say that LVH3 put their best feet forward and set of as FRBs right from the start, calling for all their worth as we proceeded through scrubby fields and scratchy bushes to dry and dusty paths - no shiggy here! - until we eventually made it to the coast and views of stunning cliffs and a dramatic stone pillar. Inland again and down a rocky path we had to give way for a goatherd and his goats - queue a rendition from Sound of Music. What a relief to see the sign of BS - but was there beer? - NOOO!

After a decent wait, we set off along the trail where we were amazed to see a head to tail line of caterpillars crawling across the path - unfortunately for them, but apparently fortunately for the pine trees they are decimating in the Algarve they met with a swift demise at the feet of the Algarve hashers. A little further on we met the wimps coming towards us - heading for the beer stop - were the front runners going to lower ourselves to back tracking? Tempting with hind sight - but we decided to carry on and found a distinct sense of Deja vue as we revisited the coast and views of stunning cliffs and a dramatic stone pillar. Inland again and we re-met the goats - you've got to be kidding!

Fortunately the wimps had not eaten all the oranges, tasty nibbles, water and beer. After a sufficient rest - no chance of getting cold and wet so no rush really - we set off back. It would be really cruel of me to report that Cyberseptic was found wandering in a field looking for trail again - but I will!

Due to reasons best known to themselves Hashdrunk and Bubbles never made it to the beerstop and so arrived back 'first' despite Lurch and Slackbladder's best impression of sheep dog to try and round them up.

ClumsySod and BarrowNil tried to eat all the crisps before the Knitting Circle arrived, but with the promise of Chilli for lunch and a plastic bottle to kick around as a football they kindly left some for the rest.

Down downs from both RAs (Breaking Glass and Bubbles) followed. I can't remember them all, but I can highly recommend circling in the sun rather than the rain. Our bellies full of chilli, beer and wine we were chauffeured back to the hotel for a cold swim or a hot sauna, or both. It would have been rude not to - really!