Well, what a great time was had by all on today’s superb A to B hash from The Adams family residence (aka The Oliver’s)! Having parked at said residence at the required earlier time of 10.45 (and with unusual military precision by Lurch), we were formally allocated into waiting vehicles and ferried to the hash start at Roeburndale (aka The Back Of Beyond)! That was after we had waited for a late running Fiddler On The Hoof to saunter up the street without a care for the waiting crowd!

At TBOB, we were given somewhat complex instructions from Morticia but as these related to the Wimps route, I paid little attention (see write up from our Wimp reporter (Bitter) below. Lurch then provided further (more complex) instructions about closed footpaths, missing bridges and lack of clear pathways for the Rambos but again I paid little attention keen to get off and back to civilisation. Then we were separated into our respective groups - 5 Rambos and the rest as Wimps.

Rambos went back up the road and off into heath and wild moorland. Magnificent views of Ingleborough and fells beyond with even more magnificent shiggy to get in and over. Up and down dale we went, further into TBOB with fords and deep muddy furrows to negotiate. Thunder Dick was the real hero of the day, looking after us Harriets and keeping us safe - especially when we reached the missing footbridge and we were forced to rope ourselves together to keep safe up the steep ascent. I did have to give him some help with a hand on his bottom but he kindly chose to ignore this sexual harassment and thanked me! It was hard going and Group Sax reminded me constantly of my hunger having burped her breakfast up at least 9 times on the r*n (a Scotch Egg being the culprit I was informed). She redeemed herself by offering me a sweetie to keep me going till we finally reached the beer stop. We had just caught the Wimps up before the Beer Stop so a good result in my eyes (more choice of biscuit available) and it was lovely to be back in the bosom of the group. 

Another couple of miles and we were back at the Oliver’s residence again where Morticia had done an amazing job of producing fabulous heart warming comfort food in our absence. We consumed,cogitated, and basked in a lovely warm home having had a really Grand Day Outdoors. Many thanks Lurch and Morticia and those who provided all the other extra rations we consumed and Happy Mothers Day to all our special hashy mums.😘 On On to the Wimps write up below.

TBC (by Bitter)...............................................................................The wait is over, here it is, the Wimps write up................

My kind of hash this, a wimp/rambo split right at the beginning, just as it should be. The only problem being there was a lot of up hill and we were all totally knackered after a few hundred yards. Never mind, a fine sight was to be had to warm the heart - Morticia driving off up another steep hill into the distance to do the cooking back at the On-Inn, whilst Lurch drove off separately in another direction to administer the beer stop in what we all hoped would be in about 10 minutes time. These 2 hares have a great sense of duty that's for sure. Their efforts shall not be forgotten.

A walk through what I can only describe as the middle of nowhere (aka TBOB) ensued before we encountered a slightly awkward stile (or was it a gate?) which Whitenoise took exception to, due to the close proximity of barbed wire which it seemed almost certain would claim at least one of us. Thankfully we all survived unscathed before we navigated our way through a rather (no, very) untidy farmyard and on to the beer stop with Lurch waiting dutifully. There was just about enough gold bar club biscuits to go around, which was lucky, otherwise Lurch's untarnished reputation would have taken a severe dent.

By this time we'd joined up with the Rambo's so the rest of it is pretty much as above. Just one further thing to add.........the same conversation kept cropping up time and again during the course of this hash...........forward planning for a future hash in a few weeks time had recently taken place by way of a reccie prior to today. That's very diligent you might think, can't leave anything to chance. The trouble is, today's hash was virtually a carbon copy of what was planned for the future event. Was this a pure coincidence or was there a more sinister explanation, involving espionage and foul play? Might the culprit pay the ultimate price?? After all, who knows what rare nerve agents Lurch and Morticia had in store at Leslie Avenue to slip into the fish pie. There was only one thing for it, a hastily convened meeting of the LVH3 Cobra Committee took place immediately upon arrival at the Onn Inn with the Prime Hasher, Upperskirt in the Chair. Lengthy discussions took place, heated debate, motions tabled and voted upon, amended motions tabled and voted upon, numerous calls for order. And the outcome?????? I don't know because it was all held in the upmost secrecy and the final decision was minuted as 'strictly confidential, for Dickhead's eyes only'. So you'll just have to turn up at the hash to find out!

On-On! Bitter XX.