Only half a dozen hounds gathered for this Sunday run, live hared by Cyberseptic, at least in part, cos he must have done some of the splits / Rambo sections in advance, unless he had a phantom assistant in place on the day? So, it was low in numbers but high in quality as we listened to No More Cum’s story in the car park (or push bike park for No More Cum) as to how he wrote his car off on a race track in Germany, together with a slightly more valuable but vastly inferior Porsche 911 GT something or other. I forgot to ask No More Cum if the Porsche ended up in a higher class scrapyard?

Throughout the journey, it was a 4 / 2 wimp rambo split, with the former attracting the most support. You’ll easily be able to ascertain from the list who the rambos were. So, from a wimp perspective it was up the canal, left over the road and railway line and onto the shore towards Hest Bank crossing where we met the Hare who questioned the whereabouts of the rambos as they had been expected there by that time. We didn’t know at that stage that they had got lost, which subsequently caused the hare to promptly re-mark a section of the trail in order to save both time and legs later on. No matter, the wimps completed the trail prior to re-marking which turned them into sort of rambos, before pausing at the micro-pub back at Hest Bank crossing for the beer stop. 

After that it was back to the On Inn through Hest Bank village, where my attempts to Uber Wimp were thwarted by the hare setting the actual trail on the section I thought I was short cutting on. Talk about feeling cheated!

A few down downs were awarded, amongst which were for Twisted for hashing too quickly (what a surprise!) and to No More Cum for not haring the hash, although we never quite got to the bottom of that one. Cyberseptic received a number of deserved plaudits for setting an excellent Hash.

The food at the On Inn was served quickly and efficiently and to everyone’s liking except..........................Baldbrick. Those present will know what comes next, a script that could possibly be matched only by the famous Four Candles of The 2 Ronnies fame or maybe the Germans episode of Fawlty Towers. I can’t possibly do it justice, but it went something like this..................

1. Waitress serves Baldbricks food. (Chicken in a basket).

2. Bitter observes that Balbrick’s chicken resembles fish goujons and remarks to that effect (thus planting the seed of thought).

3. Baldbrick takes a bite of his chicken, chews it, and immediately asserts that it is fish and certainly not what he ordered.

4. Baldbrick summons the waitress, complains that he has been served fish instead of chicken and sends it back. Rightly so you might think. (Waitress apologises profusely and Baldbrick feels a degree of self righteousness).

5. 2 minutes later Waitress returns with Baldbricks original plate of food, proclaiming (with an equal amount of self righteousness) that it was, and still is definitely CHICKEN. The whole pub collapses in laughter at this point.

6. Twisted taste tests Baldbricks food and confirms that it is indeed.............CHICKEN.

7. Baldbrick grudgingly accepts that his CHICKEN, that looked and tasted like fish, is in fact CHICKEN, but continues to protest that his CHICKEN shouldn’t have looked and tasted like fish. He feels hard done by, and continues to make a (CHICKEN) meal of it, rather than accepting defeat like any other hashing gentleman would have done.

8. Sir Tom Tom announces that the original 2011 Fishgate episode, starring OffhisTrolley and Whitenoise has now been well and truly usurped by the 2018 sequel...........’Fishgate 2’.

On-on, Bitter. (Deputising for appointed write upper, Twisted).