After turning up early (definitely a first for the Yanks!) at the Fleece car park, we encountered the lurking Lurch, who directed us to another non-pub start from Dolphinholme village hall, where the toilet facilities behind the out-house were simple but effective (first-hand experience). Naturally my enquiry as to who was acting GM for the day was deemed a self-appointment, in addition to my volunteering as scribe as it was the only time I've ever remembered to bring pen and paper. Virgin Martin (brother of Colon) was welcomed, as was second-timer Highway. The hares then announced that there was to be no w-r split and warned us of a false trail mark without an associated check. Thus perplexed we ononed under the expert bugleship of Gossamer, though her choice of rallying anthem (Last Post) didn't bode well for the run.

First check took longer that usual on account of Slackbladder living up to his name by emptying his clog while checking, mistakenly believing this act to be unobserved. A very pleasant though uneventful run enfolded with great views but no difficult climbs. Even the RA had trouble remembering any significant behavioural problems or mishaps to lecture us on afterwards, resorting to quizzing us on the number of moles pinned on the barbed wire at the drinks stop to generate downers. I even imagined for a while I would not get wet feet, though true to form we encountered a couple of wet meadows and becks to cross and I took the opportunity of finding the wettest bits to water my shoes at.

Down-downs for:

• Martin for being a virgin and for surging on ahead at checks when he hadn't a clue what he was doing.
• Bubbles for GBH on the RA (pushed him into a nettle - all say ahh).
• White Noise and Off His Trolley for carrying matching packamacs (all say ahh).
• Off His Trolley and Highway for wearing offensive shorts.
• Gossamer and Colon for not knowing how many moles.
• The Judge for getting vexed (can't remember what for).
• Bubbles, RA and Martin for blindness.
• RA for resorting to the blindness excuse when he couldn't think of anything else and for his waterworks at the first check.
• Antiseptic for being non-observant (can't remember what of).

A great route in perfect weather, though because there was no split, a little long for the wimps and short for the rambos I thought.

Forever Blowing, The Duke, Harry, Bonny and Greta were also-rans. Sorry if I've forgotten anyone.