Lurch arrived, left and returned, The 'Septics drove past, turned and came back and the rest of us waited for the wise words of Nipple.  Just to confuse us we had a  non-running Hare - Judge and non running Accused - going to do 'family' things with relies who could manage the beer bit but not the run - sounds like a lot of us I think!  We also had a non-running GM emeritus who was a good bucket driver.

We were a bit concerned by the wetness of Nipple's shorts - worried about river crossings - where would the river be - and if his shorts were wet - how would PlayDough manage? After detailed words of warning about fairies, pixies and very slippery limestone, and being careful to remember that wimps go right and rambos go left we set off across the A6.  There was a quick horn blowing lesson from Gossamer to Nipple which worked a treat - just remember not to blow out your cheeks, but was that the music lesson or a result of Bean Curry and Boddingtons?

The woods were magical and went on being so - a well floured route with well floured roots which pleased many, we wended our way through the dappled shade of the trees getting increasingly moist from the lack of breeze and the warm temperature.  Our four-legged  hounds gained a member who was collected by Forever Blowing and returned to his master by Lurch.

Once at the limestone the pace slowed down - not wanting to end up on our backsides - but of course there IS always one.....

We kept our eyes peeled for the little people - but saw no fairies - though AntiSeptic claims to have seen a pixie sitting in a tree, pulling faces - that's no way to talk about your daughter!

Greta and Harry were not happy at the Fairy steps - maybe they could sense something we could not, and there followed a discussion about how they managed to get the coffins up the steps in the days of the old Coffin Road..... Fowl Scrotum thought about parachutes (going up?) and hot air balloons, CyberSeptic fancied a permanent winch set-up, but we finally decided that they would not needed to have been kept level - as long as Rigor Mortis had set in the corpse would remain upright in a vertical coffin , any earlier and it would be slumped down at one end, so then the coffin would have to be tilted in order to even out the load.

The R-W split sorted the men from the boys - metaphorically speaking of course, and despite being sent off through the woods against their better judgement the wimps soon came across the bucket and P-Dough and PlayDough  who must have travelled on a magic carpet from the woods.  Joined by the rambos we set off back to Beetham.. a bit of house hunting for Fishnets and too much gossiping from Fishnets, Old Banger, Forever blowing and Cyberspetic - luckily a FT mark brought us back to our senses otherwise we would be wandering still.

It seems that some of us missed a load of nettles by unintentional  shortcutting on the road and arrived back in the carpark just as torrential rain prompted a rapid circle - the down downs were a bit like a Mexican wave, we each confessed our sins - or were branded liars and then ran for cover into the Chip heaven which is the Kings Arms.  The powder room proved a very welcome changing room!

The agreement was that it was a beautiful run - praise indeed, and worthy of a return visit, there was much debate at the table about what suspenders and stockings should be worn at Nash Hash, it became clear that AntiSeptic is quite happy to run behind Nipple's legs ..stockinged or not!

Which reminds me - will we ever know why Nipple's shorts were so wet - and do we want to know?