A motley crew of hashers with nothing better to do turned up at the New Inn Wray, including some stranger, but he seemed to know us, more about him later. We all jumped in the Mini Bus and broke the door. None of us owned up to doing the crime but it was fixed and we proceeded under the directions given by Foul Scrotum in the front of the van. We arrived at some secluded road junction in the middle of nowhere. This was the start of the run and there was a wimps/rambo split at the begining. The wimps went down a footpath to the right of us and we rambos went on up the hill on the road.

We followed the road for a while and ended up following some farm track. (I can't remember how we got there, ask RA, we followed him) but in true rambo style we lost the trail. Lucky for us some guy in a big white mini bus showed us the way. But we were lost again at a cattle grid. We could see no trail so we stood about a bit and left RA to go and look for a sign we were on the right trail. He found some flour on the road but personally I think it was Harry and he took the praise. But we ended up at High Salter (sorry if the spelling is wrong) and on the top of a small hillock was a group of barmy people doing some sort of wierd dance but they had Beer & Flapjack so it didn't matter. We stood about talking for about ten minutes then we left.

Over a small bridge up a hill to a style, over the style down a hill and there was a check so I wondered off looking for flour but there was none.

So, off we went down the hill to a quaint little effort of a village with a minature chapel the size of an average garage. We set off down the road to a bridge called Barking bridge, why we wanted to know that is any ones guess but hey ho. We then advanced to a style. We had to go up a steep hill (I hate steep hills pity stena stair lift don't do outdoor ones). The trail from here onwards was badly marked with only pinches of flour being used 100's of meters apart. We started to get worried we were off trail but we found a area in a wood where I thought it had snowed there was that much flour about. And then nothing for miles then another section 100 meters long of wannabe snow, everyone was disgraced. Hash Drunk had been honoured with the Bugle but I never heard it being played by him once. (He gave it to the little people to blow). Through the wood we went, the ferny brackany things dwarfed me, but thats not hard. These played havoc if you were trying to run because there were branches and stones hidden in amongst them EVERYONE fell or stumbled through here. If you didn't, go back to middle Earth you Elf !!!!!!!! We finally emerged from the smelly dark wood and followed a trail over some fields. I was leading at this point and kept stopping to call on on to help people in the woods. Previously I had seen the wimps go off route apparently walking into the middle of a hippy Nudist Colony. When we reached the road it was a easy stroll down to Wray doing two checks on the way. Then On Inn to the New Inn at Wray.

Almost all hashers got down downs apart from the goody goodies Cousin it & Cum Yak Yak. The Hares for a good run. I'm disappointed more didn't turn up.

• The GM for being a gross sinner, missing 15 hashes whilst GM and therefore his name has been changed from No More Cum to  ......... Cum No More. This was done with the power installed to the RA by the GM himself. HA HA HA.
• Bubbles, Hash Drunk and Pick Me Up for being Piss Heads and not getting up.
• Highway for being a non performer making excuses by saying he'd been in rigourous training for a hash. But RA pointed out his footwear was to blame.
• Pick Me Up again for being a shit dropper after dropping Cousin It into Shiggy, what offence deserves that I ask myself.
• The GM again for being a full moon moaner.
• And finally, me for being the ultimate sinner for crimes such as, being a Sheep Follower and being too good at running.