Screeching to a halt 1 minute before circle time, HA and I were met by a biblical multitude of hashers ( by Covid era standards ) including a plenitude of virgins - also by our Grand Master LP who post haste plonked the job of scribing on our late arriving shoulders. Take thou heed oh hashers!

Mention must be made of the grand sartorial efforts of CS. Not only sporting a fuschia pink top but also a neon green headband band, purple flowery leggings and a multicoloured necklace. What will the grandchildren - (including the brand new one today- Congratulations!!) make of him!

The hash began with a mass incursion of hashers onto the busy A6. Engines seemed thankfully to give way to foot power and no hashers were harmed in the completion of this manoeuvre.

On-onwards we ran, bunching in sociable groups as is the hash way. We did encounter a little unhappiness from a local lawn owner over the use of noxious flour blobs (apologies to you if you read this . We are not out to pollute the countryside and are generally all quite harmless. Soz about the flour)

A fairly early fishhook reunited us and gave hash flash an opportunity to take photos of us all – also an excuse to stop running for a bit! Fishhooked out we proceeded past a strange totem pole tree into a woodland path presumably chosen for its patch of shiggy- one of the few available at present due to recent sunny weather.

Then the heat began to build and the pace to slacken. Up a hill with dripping brows, and on to the welcome BS. Malted rehydration beverages were partaken of.

Somewhat revived, off we went again past delights such as some very inquisitive, photogenic and stinky goats and Roz’s Pony Paradise - with pastures full of buttercups and strangely devoid of ponies. MT took up the obvious photo opportunity.

On on through hayfields, wheat fields and rock hard ankle turning pastures back to the cars. Red faced and dripping we availed ourselves of a handy outdoor tap courtesy of Rockform Tiles.

Now then. Part 2. Once upon a time two hashers called Bitter and Twisted made a fairy tale garden. They invited all their little hashing friends both old and new to tea in their beautiful garden. They gave them lovely soup ( with croutons and everyfing) and a delightful cream tea. So ‘Zen’ed out were the hashers by the tranquil ambience of the garden that though the occasional skirmish over whether it was cream or jam first was heard, the Great Debate over pronunciation of scone - scone rhymes with gone ✔️or scone rhymes with stone ❌- was not entered into. But there… I have settled the issue. All the hashing friends were quite overawed by the beauty of the garden (some thinking wistfully about the state of their own in comparison) but Twisted of the better gardening standards seemed to think it was a bit untidy. WHAT ?!! ( Not letting you in my garden Twisted!) Anyway a delightful time was had by all.

Part 3….. and then the calm of the peaceful garden was disrupted by CIRCLE TIME and the tone of the conversation slipped a notch or two. We had 3 virgins to christen - or was that 4. A lot anyway! We even ended up with a somewhat premature naming ceremony. I blame that pheasant feather. Anyway welcome all and welcome newly named Pleasant and Plucker. Yep , we went there ….

Nobody drank RA’s nettle beer for down downs. Perhaps the violent eruption of the brew from the bottle was off putting? Or that very herbal and individual taste?!

Anyway many thanks Bitter and Twisted for a lovely hash and a particularly delightful afternoon tea in your beautiful garden. I’m off to do some weeding……