R*n 784: Low Bentham

It all started so well, everybody turned up on time despite the clocks changing. Although to be fair we weren't in the car park at noon to see if anybody forgot…..

It then started going downhill, the car park was almost completely full.  With a bit of shuffling the final hound's car was squeezed in.

Sir Tom Tom then gave us a lengthy briefing which included going uphill through the woods and going to the left of a tree, which one in particular I still have no idea.  More instructions followed about fields with no flour but if you ran all the way around the edge you would find an exit - probably the one you came in by.  There was then the farm you mustn't run through unless it was the farm you must run through, although neither would have any flour for you to tell which was which. There were going to be lots of checks some of which would have flour blobs, definitely a couple or more splits and I am sure he mentioned several beer stops. After waking everybody up we departed with Sir Tom Tom's final pearl of wisdom ringing in our ears 'you can't possibly get lost'.

We set off past the Punch Bowl following copious quantities of flour and duly found the woods and went uphill where we passed some trees on the left and some on the right. The views of Ingleborough were fantastic and the fields were shiggy free which was noted as being a first for a Bentham hash. The trail seemed easy to follow despite the fields and farms with no flour, but it lulled us into a false sense of security. On climbing a stile we found a check on the road so proceeded to check in each direction. A second check was quickly found and On On called, more checking was started but after a short distance an arrow in the wrong direction was found. We were almost certainly lost apart from Lurch and Major Twit who were definitely lost. They were so far in the wrong direction that they only realised when they found markings to the On Inn. So much for the "you can't possibly get lost".

After retracing our steps (and not using the map which Sir Tom Tom had dropped - I didn't have my glasses); the pack got back on trail and found the beer stop not too far away. The Hares were surprised to hear that we had got lost and even more surprised to being berated about it. Another briefing for the second half ensued which seemed to revolve around fields with no flour and not; to follow a footpath sign when there wasn't any flour at a gate and that if we were lucky we might end up at the Riverside Caravan Park. Reassuringly the final instruction was "you can easily get lost".

Amazingly the second half proved trouble free despite the dire warning. We headed through fields with no flour and gates with no flour all the while going downhill. Much to our surprise we arrived at the caravan park and followed a lovely trail along the banks of the River Wenning. With low river levels it was tempting to take a short cut across the weir at Low Bentham but the pack was well behaved and stayed on trail back to the car park.

Large Package deputised as GM for the circle and Down Downs were issued to:

• Bitter & Ready About for dogging in the car park
• Sir Tom Tom & Wear the Soap for getting the hounds lost
• Sir Tom Tom for littering the countryside
• Ready About for assisted running