It certainly was une grande debacle! A good hash is one that will always be remembered, whatever the reasons. Today’s r*n from the big lay-by near Crooklands had much to cement its place in the memories of the jolly band of hashers who completed survived the experience.

With many a hasher away on holidays it was always likely to be a select group. The starting point was conveniently only a couple of minutes from M6 junction 36, so we could all be sure of getting there easily. Or maybe not. An accident on the motorway not long before 11 o’clock caused a long tailback, with four hashers stuck in the jam. Whats App messages were exchanged and the Hares agreed to hang back to start the late arrivals. Fortunately the Motorway Police eventually turned up, beaten by both ambulance and fire service vehicles, and started to get the traffic flowing again.

So it was that First Class Stomp and Large Package left the start about half an hour late, while Morticia and Lurch were about the same further back still. The rest of the hounds, all five of them (plus Baldbrick on baby-sitting duties till the beer stop), were somewhere down-hash. Could they be caught?

FCS and LP came to an early check, clearly kicked out as a left turn. They duly followed that route only to find Baldbrick parked up at what he believed to be the beer stop! Ready About was phoned (infra dig I know, but needs must) and his mistake rectified. The trail was hard to find but crossed a busy road, at that time packed with grid-locked vehicles because of the motorway closure.

A little further along the trail LP had started to r*n ahead, to make time to sample at least a couple of the four Rambo splits promised. He came across an unusually kicked out check mark, close to a road junction and a bridge over a small river. The circle of flour had been broken in two directions, being the obvious two routes from that point. Which was correct? LP was soon joined by FCS and they wandered up and down both roads, and a third further on, until coming up against a green cross chalked in each of these roads. This whole time being inconvenienced by many cars using these narrow roads, having to back up to pass each other, all presumably in an effort to get around the traffic jams on the larger roads.

At long last L & M arrived, just as LP found what appeared to be a fourth route, a footpath near the junction, but with no signs and an overgrown stile. I wonder how much time the earlier party had spent here, and why did they mark the check in such a confusing manner?

And so the four chasers hashed on, LP once more r*nning on ahead, past the “amusing” 1^st split (wet feet in the ford), and to the 2^nd split. Lurch and Morticia opted to take the Rambo route, leaving FCS to continue to chase the Wimps. LP made good progress until he wasted time off trail on an overgrown bridleway, despite having received a briefing on this stretch from Hard Astern. During this digression L & M got ahead, to be spotted a little later by LP. There was some confusion over the correct Rambo route, with L & M being off to the right of the true course. Your scribe cannot say where the rest of the hash went during this part, except that some were probably off trail for at least some of the time. After following the 3^rd Rambo split solo LP finally caught up with the back marking Wimps, then soon after into the genuine beer stop art installation. FCS had meanwhile caught up with the Wimps so everyone was together again, excepting Morticia and Lurch, who were seen later in the pub.

Somewhere along the stretch before the beer stop we were treated to possibly the largest puddle ever witnessed. A good deal of wading was necessary, and some cleaner shoes was the main result. Only Late Cummer avoided the water by taking to the adjacent field.

Since time was getting on, the Hares decided that we should utilise the two cars available to whisk us all back to the starting lay-by, all except Late Cummer and Chapped Lips who were content to carry on walking, and of course L&M who were not yet at the beer stop.

No circle again, but no time for it. Luckily the still prevalent traffic jam was in the opposite direction to the pub, so all was well. A good meal was enjoyed by most.

A memorable hash, in amazing weather. More of the same please.