Lune Valley Hash House Harriers

Monday 26th October 2020
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R*n 89 location

R*n 89 started from YHA Bellingham, Bellingham. There was no On Inn so everyone went home.

Who ran 89? - data up to & including this r*n

Hash HandleHareHoundTotal
Antiseptic - Hare92332
Cyberseptic - Hare92635
Cousin It14344
Forever Blowing126577
Hash Drunk135871
Pick Me Up125769
Virgin: Sally022

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Sunday 9th November 2003 at 11:00am

Hash WeekendR*n 89 »

Haltwistle - Bellingham

Now Haltwistle, a town not twenty miles from Bellingham claims to be the centre of Britain (would that be geographic or social?) got me into thinking of Tolkien.

Sunday morning dawns in the Halls of Elrond (Bellingham YHA) and the iron-stomached hashers are already stirring before 9am, indifferent to glasses of wine ('industrial', 'oaky') washed down with beer in the Shire Inn.  Breakfast included sticky toffee pudding, salad and apple crumble; not a bad start to the day.

The Palantir (television) came on and heads swung in the direction of international rugby and the sight of powerful men groping one another and a large mis-shapen ball (what is the attraction of this perversion?).

11 am and Antiseptic has returned and we await the return of Cyberseptic.  The circle (Council of Elrond) is mustered and the Company is formed from those summoned to undertake the Quest.

Our march eschewed the comfort of the ancient track to climb into barren moorland.  I blew on the Great Horn to rally the Company of dwarves, elves and men in our desperate crossing of the barren wastelands of Middle Earth, following faint signs and tokens of those that had passed before.

The breaking of the fellowship was not long in coming, the lesser Company, ever known as the Wimps, took the low road whilst the burden of those ever known as the Rambos was carried by Sally the elven-footed and Bubbles (for the dwarves) and Lurch (for men).

Madness overtook Bubbles, for Wormtongue was whispering in his earpiece news of the Rugby and caused him to be lost from the Company and to journey long into the wilderness without purpose, until at the end of time Wormtongue was cast out and Bubbles was welcomed back.

An unexpected and joyous reunion with the Septics gave tidings of the Wimps who had pushed on with their Quest and were invisible, but we followed their clear signs back to Bellingham.  Part 2 of the Quest was over, but with little time lost the 3rd part of the journey was begun.

The full strength of the hash was put forth to reach the source of the vigorous stream (Rivendell?) cutting deeply into the lands behind Bellingham.  We learned that the dwarves had hewn the land in search of precious metals and harnessed the power of water.  They had angered the gods who caused much rain resulting in the Great Storm and a wave of water that swept over the dam and scattered all before it.  Anger abated, the valley reverted to a pretty dell traversed by a slender path and 6 bridges.  A beautiful journey culminating in a handsome waterfall and pool.

As always, ritual humiliation for those who continue to seek the way long after it has been discovered and for passing wind frequently and loudly.

  • Hash drunk, whose fame for bottom popping is spreading far and wide along with a potent odour. Perhaps we can rename him Chemical Ali.
    Hash drunk also managed to miss a rubbed out check and set off along a false trail, with a cry of On One. He really was on another planet; maybe we should have left him up there.
  • Forever Blowing for dismantling dry stone walls.
  • The hares, Cyber and Anti Septic for another excellent run and for leading us up a blind alley.
  • Bubbles, for being deaf.
  • To all those hashers who missed the first half of the run.
  • To Paul for fouling trail, he should have learned from my mistake.
  • To Sally for being a FRB.

Urine closed the circle with a rousing chorus of Swing Low Sweet Chariot, with actions, a fitting end to a fun weekend.

Many thanks to Urine, Far Canal, Mud Arse for coming all the way from The Isle of Man to spend time with us, to Sally and Sheila, and to Doreen, Rachel, Diane and Natalie I hope you enjoyed it.

Lurch and Morticia.


Write up by Lurch

15th November 2003 at 5:53am