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by Forever Blowing, the Septics and Hash Drunk
LVH3 Hounds: No More Cum, Bubbles, Forever Blowing, Antiseptic, Cyberseptic, Gossamer, Atomic Caton, Hash Drunk, Pickmeup
Held on 22nd to 25th August at Westonbirt Girls School, Gloucestershire
Friday (GM's log Day 84)
- 11am and needed extra air in the tyres - do we all need to go on the Atkins Diet? Couldn't have been the beer coz we didn't have any! - NMC had already drunk his Stella
- 5pm. Champagne reception at the grand entrance of the Italian Renaissance stately home, is this hashing?
- Camped at edge of field - close enough to the cows to be serenaded to as they wended their way backwards and forwards and backwards and...
- Windsox (dressed in body stocking, red platform boots and gold lame tailcoat) to Pick me Up "Are you dressing up tonight?" Reply: "Yes, are you?"
- Atomic Caton, Pick Me up and Hash Drunk emerge from tents as swinging chicks from Austin Powers. Cyberseptic slept on.
- Gossamer gained a hasher shadow old enough to be her grandfather
- Met VD who will be running with us again from November when she and Gonner-ear move to Carnforth
Saturday (GM's log Day 85)
- No More Cum has a boyfriend - what a wally! he couldn't keep away, but full of flattery - lucky Karl!
- Bubbles and NMC on on to Ball breaker
- Remainder on on to Cider with Rosie - lots of ups and downs, no cider. Hash drunk worse for wear wanting to take short cut back to bus, but too much of a wimp to do it on his own! Antiseptic tipped tango on a pompous hasher's head!
- St Trinians evening do - everyone dressed up as something (apart from NMC who would not wear Atomic's little black number!). You should have seen Pick Me Up in her long brown wig!
- Gossamer's grandfather now a headmaster - easy to spot and avoid!
- Some serious dancing thanks to lessons from Atomic Caton
- Some disturbing sights - men and women who should have lessons from Trinny and Susannah on what not to wear - or rather what to wear
- the naked run was announced for 12:00, then revised to whenever the band finished, but everyone got fed up waiting so a further announcement said start in 5 minutes and the eager participants downed keks and hung like taylor's dummies in anticipation. Eventually about 60 of us ononed with great enthusiasm, including Hash Drunk, No More Cum, Cyberseptic and Gossamer, and immediately lost the trail in the alcohol haze, though the markers were only about 5 yards apart!! The "run" turned out a total disaster, being only about 200 yards long and finishing in the bushes at a "beer stop" where there was not enough beer for everyone and we stood around waiting for more to be brought. In the complete confusion that followed some nudists drifted off, others stoically waited around while the macho men loudly proclaimed that the run was a great turn-out and beat their chests, to the bemusement of the 5 women participants. 60ish out of 800 possibles was disappointing, as was the non-run and the almost total lack of any organisation, in contrast to the rest of the weekend. Still, No More Cum insisted on staying nude afterwards for a quick dance with Forever Blowing, which we all found very amusing. (I didn't know where to look! FB)
Sunday (GM's log Day 86)
- Poor old GM having to "bare" the breakfast queue coz he got up late again!
- Shiggy run for those who should really have known better - loads of mud to swim and wade through, have thrown at and then hose off at the end of the run.
- Three Peaks run for NMC, Anti and CyberS
- Atomic had to return north, "places to go"
- Forever Blowing tried to drink a caterpillar that had drowned in her wine!
- Down down competition - great fun no doubt for those involved but l-o-n-g for the spectators
- Cabaret - scary when acts before us were booed off, but our booby dance brought the house down - Urine then booked us for world tour starting in Cardiff next July.
- Hash drunk slept through the end of the disco
Monday (GM's log Day 87)
- Camp struck after breakfast , then all except Hash drunk ran all around the arboretum - some ran more than others!, we were also given choir practice "Father Abraham had 7 sons"
- On hearing that Monday's run went through the Arboretum, and that Antiseptic was dead keen to go there, our blessed GM No More Cum commented: "I suppose the arboretum is something to do with trees!" He also showed how knowledgeable he is about matters pertaining to Geology. when, after a geology/geography lesson from Cyberseptic most of which seemed to be going over his head, he startled everyone by announcing that the Cotswold fault was like the Great Glen in Scotland! He is full of knowledge our GM!
- Decided to leave before the end of the circle as there was no end in sight
- Arrived home and had to call out the RAC from Hornby Road - women drivers!
Overall:
- Vegetarian option food was quite good at the weekend, with the exception of breakfast and the night barby where in both cases the serving staff or hashers didn't seem to know what they were serving, or were totally unaware of the concept of the quorn sausage, even though the tray of the same was laid out in front of them.
- The haring at the weekend was really good and the hares had some interesting ideas!!!! Having assembled at the start of the run on Sunday morning at a site of a long barrow - geography again! - they gave us all information needed and then sent the short-cut runners (wimps) off in one direction and told the long runners (rambos) to "check it out" This we did along many trails only to find that we had to go in the same direction as the wimps! This happened a few times but could not be relied on as sometimes there was a genuine split! During the Monday run though the arboretum (trees!) the rambos were sent by the hares in one direction only to be recalled and sent to follow the wimps! whilst grinning and announcing "We're hares, we can do what we want!" Warning - beware of runs set by those that went to Nash.
- Good weekend; company great; cheap transport (unlike prediction!); fantastic music and bands; food good; able to do what you wanted when you wanted - very relaxing!
NOW:
How to write about Alasdair. All I have to say is that his name is Hash Drunk and he has a whole title to himself, the rest is rather self-explanatory. But for the sake of laughs I will explain further in depth! The first HD like thing HD did was on the journey down when his image of a fourteen-seater bus was somewhat smaller than ours. It was highly amusing for me in the second row back, swinging round the corners hearing gasps and exclamations from Pick-me-up and the occasional, sheepish apology from the driving seat. He was driving so fast we even missed the turn off and led Atomic Caton down the wrong road, through a garage and back again. But we made it in the end and it was soon time for HD to start on the whisky. He and Pick-me-up had both made an effort with the 70s dressing up and HD looked like Austin Powers' long lost uncle! It didn't take him long to reach his usual Hash Drunk state and we all took great amusement in watching him sway randomly out of time with the music. Pick-me-up eventually took him to bed before anyone else and as myself, the Septics and Atomic Caton wondered back to the tent we saw a torch light coming from their tent shooting around as if following a hyper-active fly! We imagined the conversation inside:
Julie: "Alasdair, hold the torch still!"
Alasdair: "I am!!"
PMU explained the next morning that she thought the torch was coming from outside the tent it was doing so little good. So a new day and HD refused to do the ball breaker as he felt too ill and did the run with us. He also was very tempted to do the half-mile short cut until PMU scoffed and said "Huh, I'm not doing it"! At one point his confusion reached breaking point when he went behind a tree for a pee but didn't realise the run almost doubled back on itself so everyone got full view of his actions. That night was rather similar to the night before with HD drinking an awful lot and getting taken to bed eventually, although his dancing was a little more energetic! But it was in the final disco that he really outdid himself and showed everyone his best dance moves! He'd been drinking from lunch time and it seemed determined to show PMU a good time and dance for her! Legs and arms were flailing wildly causing minor injuries to nearby spectators, but the beer kept coming and HD got slower and slower until Julie thought she' d helped by dancing with him energetically. This knocked him for six and she had to lead him to a seat, which he only just managed to sit on and that 's where he stayed! But he was still the height of entertainment for passers by with video cameras etc. We threw some water over him but received the smallest of reactions and PMU decided enough was enough and we all took him back to the tent! So I can't make up my mind on the biggest achievement for HD, making it to the toilet and back without getting lost, being the worst dancer there (a difficult task!) or being too ill to run on the Monday morning. All in all it was a successful weekend for the hash drunk of hash drunks!!!