Lune Valley Hash House Harriers

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R*n 312 location

R*n 312 started from Dowker's Lane car park, Kendal and the On Inn was Brewery Arts Centre, Kendal.

Who ran 312? - data up to & including this r*n

Hash HandleHareHoundTotal
Feels on Wheels - Hare157287
Full Member64046
Off His Trolley1194105
Sir Tom Tom31922
White Noise98695

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On Inn - Brewery Arts Centre, Kendal

This was our 1st visit to this On Inn.


Thursday 6th August 2009 at 7:00pm

Full MoonR*n 312 »


Feels On Wheels was getting worried. Several months had elapsed since the Secret Seven had mounted their daring torchlight raid on Kendal Castle and some of her friends were, well, missing. So, she hastily convened a meeting at the car park to plan a rescue.

Sir Tom Tom was the first to arrive with his young pals White Noise and Off His Trolley. "What's the matter, Feels?" asked STT, concerned at his mate's obvious state of agitation. "Oh, Sir Tom Tom, thank heavens you're safe!", she sobbed uncontrollably. "I thought they'd got you too!" "What do you mean?" enquired STT, puzzled as usual. "It's the evil smugglers - I think they've captured Highway, Master Baker, Upperskirt, Cyberseptic and Antiseptic!" blubbed Feels.

"Probably locked them in the castle", suggested Full Member, who had just arrived. "Serves the silly s*ds right. It was supposed to be a secret mission, and what do they do? Shine their torches all over the place and shout 'on on' all the time, that's what. Daft b*ggers."

"Never mind all that now," said Sir Tom Tom. "We must mount a bold rescue attempt! Come on, everyone!" White Noise, however, gave the idea a lukewarm reception. "Too risky in broad daylight", she pointed out. "Besides, I never really liked that lot. Why don't we go and play on the other side of town instead where it's safer?" "Good idea!" agreed Off His Trolley, who always took her side.

Feels reluctantly decided to go along with the majority decision, but showed her displeasure by not telling them which way to go. Not that she needed to, though: White Noise instantly picked up the trail and trotted off into the distance, with the others in hot pursuit. What's more, every time she came to one of those mysterious chalk circles, she instinctively chose the right path. She was really thrilled, because she wasn't used to running in front. Her companions, however, exasperated at not being able to keep up with her, called her an FRB and made her cry.

Soon they saw two mysterious arrows marked W and R. "I'm going that way", said White Noise, pointing at the W. "It's my favourite letter". "Good idea!" agreed Off His Trolley, who always took her side. "Well, STT and I are going the other way", said Full Member. The R might stand for 'Railway'; we can go and play on the tracks!"

So off they went and, even though they knew they had further to go than the others, STT and FM were confident they would get back first. On the way, they were overjoyed to bump into their old pal Dormouse who, unusually for him, had arrived late. At first, STT and FM thought he was going the wrong way round, which had happened before, but it turned out he had followed the cissy W trail.

The end was almost in sight, when suddenly events took a nasty turn. A rough-looking gang of about thirty boys and girls started giving chase, but fortunately STT, FM and DM managed to outrun them."Phew, that was a lucky escape", observed Dormouse. "Good job they weren't chasing White Noise and Off His Trolley, they might have caught them!"

Reunited back at the car park, the friends wondered what they should do next. "I know!", exclaimed Off His Trolley, "let's go to the pub! Maybe we can get some of the grown-ups to pour beer into our lemonades and make shandy! "That sounds jolly exciting!" agreed Feels excitedly, and off they all went. Unfortunately, the pub was intimidatingly full, so they had to wander around for hours and hours until they found another one. White Noise started crying because her feet were hurting, and the others told her not to be such a girly.

Eventually, over pizza and fizzy pop, the friends were debating why none of their other friends had come to help rescue their five kidnapped comrades. "Maybe", theorised White Noise, "it's because we give them such silly names. The ones with really horrid names never come back. I mean, just look at Stinky Cowpat and Vomit Breath - we haven't seen them in years. Even my name's a bit nasty - it gives the impression I talk all the time!"

"Oh, do shut up White Noise!" complained the others in unison, and they all went home for cocoa and biscuits.

On On

Sir Tom Tom

Write up by Sir Tom Tom

12th August 2009 at 1:53pm