R*n 355: High Newton

Highway’s feet were noted to be wet at the start, a sure indication of shiggy to come. Up and up the pack climbed. It was a Highway h*sh ramble to the top of the hill. TNT guests expressed surprise that there were hills south of the border, particularly ones that went up and up and up and up and up and up. The pack soon fanned out, separating into those die-hards who insist on doing the whole trail wherever it goes and the rest. The rest, being sensible, were soon out of sight. Then, like hash magic, the front runners became the back runners as the trail swept its way through every bit of bog, tussocks, shiggy, bracken and long grass that Highway could have found. More views, across a road, through some farmland and a nice long lane on the run in to the beer stop. Much appreciated by Fuzzy, who’s birthday it happened to be. Harry thought the event was worth marking - and duly did so by peeing on Fuzzy’s leg!

We all set off fully replenished and ran down and down and down and down through fields (of cows) to the circle.

Upper Skirt once again demonstrated her infallible sense of direction. She might be going the right way, but strangely her “right” way was wrong - being not aligned with the marked trail. Baldbrick walked all of three hundred a yards to obtain a higher vantage point up the embankment to the A590 to see if she was en route. But no further. That would have meant losing sight of the beer.

Down Downs went to:

• Fuzzy - the TNT h*shers attempted to make a cake on his head with some flour and eggs. I expect his hair looked good for days.
• The man from Penang who hid in the bushes to ensure that he missed the run. Turned out he was called Big Yap and he had a family. But they did not r*n either.
• Suckling Pig - possibly for being married to Drag Queen...
• No More C*m for mobile phone abuse – and in the circle, he was called back to the circle while on the mobile phone again. Can the man learn not to use his phone?
• Hairspray for encouraging cattle to charge across a field after him – the hardest he’s been chased in a long time...

We adjourned to an excellent pub with good food and beer.

We were honoured today by the presence of the following guest r*nners from TNT H3:

• Drag Queen
• Sperm Burp
• Hairspray
• Easy Rider
• Arse Over Tit
• Gonzo The Gob
• Suckling Pig
• Caprice
• Fuzzy Wuzzy

and Big Yap & Family from Penang.