At the Full Moon r*n the other night, Bubbles had promised us a short, fast r*n for today which, considering our TWO beer stop (with visit to Leighton Moss) Full Moon r*n of the other night, sounded very welcome. My idea of a short, fast r*n is three times round the pub car park and in for a swift one. However, Bubbles' idea of short and fast is different, much different. Must remember to ask Forever Blowing what she thinks his idea of short and fast is - I think she'll be well placed to have a better understanding.

In all fairness to Bubbles, he'd done a sterling job to arrange this r*n at short notice. His briefing conjured up images of water crossings, busy roadways, tortuous climbs and adventures beyond our feeble imaginations. We were all ready for anything he could throw at us and felt like Sinbad about to set sail on the seven seas.

Once we started the r*n I realised it was Seven Seas cod liver oil I needed to keep my legs moving. Anyway, the r*n was well laid with some cheeky checks here and there. The LVH3 rule of 'three blobs and you're on' was well observed but he didn't half have us going a long way down false trails before we hit the false trail marker!

The highlight of the r*n was discovering the 'G spot'. By now you can imagine the schoolboy humour and sniggering that was taking place. We were actually at the Gather which turned into the Beer Stop. Bubbles had said there wouldn't be a Beer Stop but that he might meet us at the Gather and if so, would organise a Beer Stop.

Considering he can't organise a piss up in a brewery, the sight of beer was most welcome and he was congratulated accordingly. Anyway, back to the 'G spot'. The beer was lubricating the mens tongues with most admitting that this was indeed the first 'G spot' they had ever come across but that it had given them inspiration to keep searching.

Soon after the Beer Stop we nearly missed the trail but soon came to the Wimps/Rambos split. White Noise and I thought it would be helpful if we took the Wimps split so that we could be first to the next check to assist the Rambos. This we duly did, leaving the Rambos with a clear r*n to the circle.

At the circle, down downs were awarded as follows:

• Bubbles, for being the hare
• Lurch, for eyeing up sheep and Upperskirts stripey shorts
• No More Cum, for admitting taking 48 years to find the 'G spot'
• Major Twit and Minor Tw*t for kissing and cuddling (again!)

On in to The Pheasant where nuts, crisps, chips and roast beef dinners were consumed and we were all on our best behaviour because Forever Blowings mum & dad were there - you owe us one FB - it could have been bad, very bad!