Fourteen hashers and their hares met on a glorious morning in the Lythe valley for a Burns / Birthday run.  Amidst the various and wonderful assortments of tartans & tablecloths, two pairs of "new shoes" were easily spotted.  Their owners admirably protested that they weren't new, only that they had the very best of washing machines. Clearly they don't want to appear to be real hashers with muddied extremities.  Did we believe them? - well... And was this the real reason for the wig? The Cums were back complete with own name prompts in case they (& we) forget who they are on their frequent forays east.  Amidst much "happy birthdaying" the run was quickly sketched out for us.

On On and up the rocky path, to a beautiful sloping field bathed in sunshine, sadly limestone pavements destroyed.  So lovely that we stayed a while mooching around, up & down, up & down up & down  - with nothing much to do.  Finally encouraged to move on by some intrepid hasher.  On on through lovely woods and outcrops along the valley side and then up, up up, UP - until we surmounted the fell, with stunning views.  Living in hope of beer - despite no road for miles - two hashers went exploring as "this would be a likely place", while the rest of us regathered.  Walkers bemusedly passed  "I've seen one of those before".

What goes up must come down - to the woods - and bless them the hares had struggled up off road with traditional Burns refreshments.  (Serves you right FS for saying you were too tired to hash).  Eventually via the GPS system, Cum Yak Yak contacted her father, whilst following the group's merry sounds -  and eventually led Lurch to safety.

On On to the beer stop proper, via this is how we do it - "using my brain", & dismantling the impoverished sheep farmer's hurdles to forge a route.  There was a paucity of the horn.   However, the duck caller par excellence magically produced and conversed with a huge skein of geese flying south.  Is this the answer for struggling blowers?

Having not wanted the horn in the first place, tried to pass it to a female, managing a couple of blows, NMC now managed to abandon it at the beer stop, 1 mile from home. "Well I didn't want the bloody thing anyway". Redemption was allowed by his running back for it before the circle.

Lurch kept company with Cum Yak Yak & managed to stagger around the trail looking pale and wan.

Birthday celebrations continued in the circle with a surprise bottle, so much of a surprise that I can't remember the b**** name.

A welcome return for the Cums, who were quickly back into the swing of things, down-downs the usual misdemeanours etc etc, mobiles (no change there then), wrecking the place, horn loss etc.

Down-downs for new shoes - we got them in the end, but NB for next time to see if they're just as clean.  Or perhaps they buy new ones each time.  Join the queue for the washing order.

A christening to join the weird and wonderful - welcome Thunderdick.  Possibly an interesting pairing with Foul (Fowl) Scrotum or Upperskirt.  Sure this one will run and run.

Thank you for an excellent run HD & PMU.